Results 1 to 5 of 5

    • Join Date: Sep 2006
    • Posts: 433
    #1

    Smile Your only 2 mins are required. (Proofreading)

    Could someone please look at following two texts for any grammar mistakes and weird sentences, and also add something, if they feel any need?


    1. This Saturday, we celebrated Sports Day. We teachers made plumes for the children. They waved them in the air, which created an atmosphere of great splendor and a beautiful rainbow of gaiety. We also made the children hand bands. They seemed very happy wearing the colorful bands. They enjoyed themselves very much and had a lot of fun at this gala event.

    2. The children enjoyed the activity a lot. They cut different beautiful color papers, and pasted them into a butterfly outline.

    Your help is appreciated from the bottom of my heart.


    Last edited by asad hussain; 18-Feb-2007 at 20:55.


    • Join Date: Aug 2006
    • Posts: 3,059
    #2

    Re: Your only 2 mins are required. (Proofreading)

    Quote Originally Posted by asad hussain View Post
    Could someone please look at following two texts for any grammar mistakes and weird sentences, and also add something, if they feel any need?


    1. This Saturday(,) we celebrated Sports Day. We teachers made plumes for the children. They waved them in the air, which created an atmosphere of great splendor and a beautiful rainbow of gaiety. We also made the children hand bands. They seemed very happy wearing the colorful bands. They enjoyed themselves very much and had a lot of fun at this gala event.

    2. The children enjoyed the activity a lot. They cut different beautiful color papers, and pasted them into a butterfly outline.

    Your help is appreciated from the bottom of my heart.


    Everything sounds fine, Asad. I took out one comma that I thought was unneeded.


    • Join Date: Aug 2006
    • Posts: 3,059
    #3

    Re: Your only 2 mins are required. (Proofreading)

    Your only 2 mins are required. (Proofreading)

    ============

    Your title needs work though. 'your only two minutes' means that these are are the only two minutes a person has. It should read,

    Only 2 mins [of your time] are required. (Proofreading)

    and to be more polite/deferential, when you're asking a favor of someone, try something like the following;

    Would you be willing to give me two minutes of your time?


    • Join Date: Sep 2006
    • Posts: 433
    #4

    Re: Your only 2 mins are required. (Proofreading)

    Oh! Thanks a lot, RK! I'm very happy that you didn't only have a look at the attention requiring subject, you also fixed the title mistake, and gave me another polite way of expressing the same thing.

    I hope I receive the same sort of response later.

    Cheers

    [I must admit the forum has been proved to be very helpful for me.]

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Feb 2007
    • Posts: 15
    #5

    Smile Re: Your only 2 mins are required. (Proofreading)

    That Saturday, we celebrated Sports Day. We, the teachers, made plumes for the children. They waved them in the air. These actions created an atmosphere of great splendor and a beautiful rainbow of gaiety. We also made hand bands for the children who seemed very happy wearing the colourful bands. They enjoyed themselves very much and had lots of fun at that gala event.

    The children enjoyed the activities a lot. They cut different color papers into beautiful shapes before pasting them onto a butterfly outline.














    quote=asad hussain;153863]Could someone please look at following two texts for any grammar mistakes and weird sentences, and also add something, if they feel any need?


    1. This Saturday, we celebrated Sports Day. We teachers made plumes for the children. They waved them in the air, which created an atmosphere of great splendor and a beautiful rainbow of gaiety. We also made the children hand bands. They seemed very happy wearing the colorful bands. They enjoyed themselves very much and had a lot of fun at this gala event.

    2. The children enjoyed the activity a lot. They cut different beautiful color papers, and pasted them into a butterfly outline.

    Your help is appreciated from the bottom of my heart.


    [/quote]

Similar Threads

  1. Request proofreading assistances
    By me_learnEng in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 29-Jan-2007, 20:20
  2. required by or for?
    By light in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 30-Nov-2006, 22:14
  3. required for ?
    By wacky in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 30-Aug-2006, 13:03
  4. Required
    By rajan in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-Nov-2005, 05:03
  5. proofreading
    By Anonymous in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 27-Jul-2003, 18:42

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •