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    • Join Date: Feb 2007
    • Posts: 16
    #1

    plz correct this sentence!

    [FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Both young people and adults spend much of their time playing online games and visiting chat rooms both of which time investments that ultimately result in studentís receiving poor grades and in adultís losing their jobs. [/FONT]

  1. rancher247's Avatar
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    • Join Date: Jan 2007
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    #2

    Re: plz correct this sentence!

    Quote Originally Posted by jamalbajwa View Post
    [FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Both young people and adults spend much of their time playing online games and visiting chat rooms; this time investment ultimately results in students receiving poor grades and in adults losing their jobs. [/font]
    This is just one way you could write that sentence. I wouldn't keep it as one sentence, but if you really wanted to, you should use a semi-colon (;) like I did.

  2. #3

    Re: plz correct this sentence!

    Both young people and adults spend much of their time playing online games and visiting chat rooms both of which are time investments that ultimately result in students' receiving poor grades and in adults' losing their jobs.

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