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    #1

    short passage

    This passage is meant for Year 2 students. Please edit it for me. Any improvements to the passage are welcome. Thanks in advance.

    One night, Mr Koh was sleeping soundly when his dog went into his room and started barking. This woke him up. He followed the dog to where he led him.
    Mr Koh was shocked to see his window curtain burning. He quickly ran to the kitchen to fetch a big pail of water. He quickly splashed the water onto the curtain. The fire was soon put out.

    Mr Koh was glad that his dog had alerted him to the fire, otherwise it would have spread out of control.

    Since this incident, Mr Koh closes all the windows in the living room before going to bed. He believes that the fire had been started by a vandal who set fire to his curtain through the open windows.


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    #2

    Re: short passage

    You have good grammar and English usage in the paragraph. "Mr" should have a period following it though: "Mr. Koh"

    Also, this sentence is correct, but possibly confusing as to whether "he" and "him" refer to the dog or Mr. Koh:
    "He followed the dog to where he led him."
    You can rewrite it to be clearer, or let the reader figure it out by context. That is your choice though. Good luck!

  1. Casiopea's Avatar

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    #3

    Re: short passage

    Quote Originally Posted by blackbyrus View Post
    "Mr" should have a period following it though: "Mr. Koh".
    In American English, yes, that's quite true; however, in British English that's not the case. A period is not required.


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    #4

    Re: short passage

    Ah, okay. Thank you for correcting me, Casiopea.

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    #5

    Re: short passage

    Quote Originally Posted by Casiopea View Post
    In American English, yes, that's quite true; however, in British English that's not the case. A period is not required.
    Casiopea is correct: Mr. (AmE), Mr (BrE).
    AmE and BrE often contradict each other. Sometimes, when BrE uses the short way, AmE goes for the longer way. Generally, AmE prefers the shorter version, eg 'color' instead of 'colour'.

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