Results 1 to 7 of 7
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Vietnamese
      • Home Country:
      • Vietnam
      • Current Location:
      • Vietnam

    • Join Date: Jan 2006
    • Posts: 43
    #1

    Question Writing a CV

    Dear Teacher,
    I'd appreciate any of your comments or suggestions for improvement of the following paragraph on a CV (about someone's career aspirations):

    " I was originally trained to be a school teacher, but later on have spent more than ten years working for XNY Vietnam, one of the three leading Japanese trading houses. I hope someday I would be employed again as an education specialist or a training officer (preferably in a bank or in any financial insitute), so that I could make the best use of my knowledge and work experience to help train younger business staff."

    Thank you very much in advance for your kind help.
    Sincerely,
    Anne Trinh

    P. S. I also thought of the following, although I found it a little clumsy and awkward:
    " . . ., so that I could contribute my best part to the training of youger business staff (by) utilizing the knowledge and the work experience I have accumulated during the past ten years. "
    Last edited by AnneTrinh; 14-Mar-2007 at 06:07.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Laos

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 57,845
    #2

    Re: Writing a CV

    I was originally trained- It sounds better in the active to me: I orgininally trained
    but later on have spent- but have since spent
    I hope someday I would be employed - I would like to work as an education specialist...

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Vietnamese
      • Home Country:
      • Vietnam
      • Current Location:
      • Vietnam

    • Join Date: Jan 2006
    • Posts: 43
    #3

    Question Re: Writing a CV

    Dear Teacher,

    Thank you so much for your prompt reply. Still it seems I didn't make myself well understood, so I'd like to clarify the situation as follows:

    - I draduated from a Teachers Training College in 1992.
    - After graduation I worked as a school teacher for 3 years (1992-1994).
    - Then I quitted the teaching job and joined XNY Company in 1995.
    - I've been working for XNY (continuosly) since 1995 (now still working), but I hope someday I can get another job in a bank or any financial institute, where I'll be employed as an education specialist . . .

    Can I revise the last part of my CV (on Career Aspirations) like this:

    " I started up my career as a school teacher, and later have spent more than ten years working for XNY Vietnam, one of the three leading Japanese trading houses. I hope someday I could find a new job (preferably in a bank or in any financial insitute), where I will be employed as an education specialist or a training officer, so that I could make the best use of my knowledge and work experience to help train younger business staff."

    Sorry to have troubled you so much, but I'd appreciate any further comments and corrections.

    Sincerely,
    Anne

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Laos

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 57,845
    #4

    Re: Writing a CV

    later have spent- later spent/have since spent
    I hiope I could find- I'd say 'hope to find'
    The rest is fine.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Vietnamese
      • Home Country:
      • Vietnam
      • Current Location:
      • Vietnam

    • Join Date: Jan 2006
    • Posts: 43
    #5

    Re: Writing a CV

    I understand that 'later spent' would coordinate better with 'started up' (both in the simple past tense), and thus would produce a parallel structure, but does it affect the 'perfect aspect' of the main verb ('working'), which denotes something still happening at the moment of speaking?


    Anne

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Laos

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 57,845
    #6

    Re: Writing a CV

    'Later' doesn't really work with the present perfect there because it implies a limited time period and a finished one, so use 'since then'.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Vietnamese
      • Home Country:
      • Vietnam
      • Current Location:
      • Vietnam

    • Join Date: Jan 2006
    • Posts: 43
    #7

    Re: Writing a CV

    Duly noted with many thanks.

    Anne

Similar Threads

  1. Where to start improving my English writing
    By Callisto in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12-Feb-2010, 07:32
  2. how can we make writing subject more interesting?
    By Anonymous in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-Nov-2008, 08:26
  3. How the Creative Writing Process Works
    By huda23 in forum Teaching English
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 17-May-2008, 02:37
  4. editing
    By hashem in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 15-Jan-2008, 01:52
  5. Need help with my sister's piece of writing
    By Flash in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 03-Mar-2006, 06:36

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •