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  1. Volcano1985's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Turkish
      • Home Country:
      • Turkey
      • Current Location:
      • Turkey

    • Join Date: Jul 2006
    • Posts: 928
    #1

    Check The Poem Plz


    Anyone can check the poem below if it has any mistake ?

    The Heaven
    What's that to me if the end of the world will come
    If the way of the life will finish,i want it now
    I have no fright,i am happy
    I loved the love with you in my lifetime
    The name of the lines on my face is you
    You are the reason of my every breath
    If i come to the world again my darling,
    I look for you,i love you again
    I don't change the heaven instead of your hairwire
    I love you as long as i live

  2. #2

    Re: Check The Poem Plz

    I found some mistakes. you didn't use capaital I

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Laos

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 57,912
    #3

    Re: Check The Poem Plz

    I have no fright- I'd use 'fear' here.

  3. bianca's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Swedish
      • Home Country:
      • Sweden
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden

    • Join Date: Apr 2007
    • Posts: 1,044
    #4

    Re: Check The Poem Plz

    Volcano asked:
    Anyone can check the poem below if it has any mistake ?

    If I come to the world again, my darling,
    I'll look for you,I'll love you again,
    I won't change the heaven instead of your hairwire,
    I will love you as long as i live...

    What's hairwire? (I know what going haywire means, but hairwire???)

    Nice poem.
    /bianca

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