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    • Join Date: Apr 2007
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    need help editing

    could someone please edit this for me.
    thank you.

    Mom
    This is my gift to you on this Easter Sunday.
    As I wake up this morning my mind begins its daily routine.
    My thoughts accelerate stimulating my heart; my blood rushes through my body. I become conscience of my surroundings and all my knowledge is available to get me through the rest of this day. I arise from the blankets into the cold space yet I remain warm with my usual first thoughts of the day. They are the awareness of my mother.
    I look out the window to a cold cloudy day I realize i am looking out the same window you have looked though so many times in the past. Now all that I see becomes beautiful, I see the brilliant colors on the ducks floating through the mist rising from the lake. I look towards the sky above your house, I can feel you in me and I know you are well.
    My phone is ringing and I know it is you. Every thing we speak of I already new through our unnconcene connection through god. I return to the window feeling the overwhelming love that we share for each other. The clouds begin separating as a ray of sunlight shines on me and I know this is godís connection between us, and it cannot be taken away.
    So I give to you these words:

    I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I will continue my faithfulness to you forever.

    This is God, in action.
    Your son steve


    • Join Date: Mar 2007
    • Posts: 23
    #2

    Red face Re: need help editing

    Quote Originally Posted by flyber View Post
    could someone please edit this for me.
    thank you.

    Mom
    This is my gift to you on this Easter Sunday. (okay)
    As I wake up to start my daily routine, my thoughts are turned to you.
    I will be able to get through the day knowing I will be talking to you. I pull off the blankets and step onto my cold floor feeling warm and happy.
    I look out the window to a cold cloudy day I realize I am looking out the same window you have looked out of, so many times in the past. Now all that I see becomes beautiful. Through the mist on the lake I see the brilliant colors on the ducks swimming on the water.
    I look towards the sky above your house, I can feel your presence and I know you are well.
    My phone is ringing and I know it is you. Every thing we talk about I already know because of our connection through God.
    I return to the window feeling the overwhelming love that we share for each other. The clouds begin separating as a ray of sunlight shines on me and I know this is godís connection between us, and it cannot be taken away.
    So I give to you these words:

    I will love you forever.

    This is God, in action.
    Your son steve
    Some of the expressions you used are used for lovers. Husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend.

    Hope this helps,

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