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  1. help_bright
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    #1

    Sentence restructure

    1.It adopts flexible networking, without the need of extra networking device, thus saving networking cost.
    or
    It adopts flexible networking, without needing extra networking device, thus saving networking cost.
    Which is ok, need of or needing?

    2. This operation helps you to modify ACL rights of a user.Do we need a definite aritcle befor ACL rights?
    Is this redundant?
    To view the properties of an NE, perform the following steps:
    Step 1 Select an NE under the Network Element tree.
    Step 2 Choose View > Properties Bar.
    3.If any one of the above steps fails, the failure prompts appear
    or
    If any one of the above steps fail, the failure prompts appear.

  2. BobK's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Sentence restructure

    Quote Originally Posted by help_bright View Post
    1.It adopts flexible networking, without the need of extra networking device, thus saving networking cost.
    or
    It adopts flexible networking, without needing extra networking device, thus saving networking cost.
    Which is ok, need of/for an or needing

    What do you mean by 'adopts'? Maybe 'enables'/'facilitates'/'makes possible'? Or perhaps you mean adapts. If so, 'adapts' needs a direct object - perhaps 'it adapts a network to make it more flexible...'?

    Quote Originally Posted by help_bright View Post
    2. This operation helps you to modify the ACL rights of a user.Do we need a definite aritcle befor ACL rights Or 'modify a user's ACL rights'
    Is this redundant
    To view the properties of an NE, perform the following steps:
    Step 1 Select an NE under the Network Element tree.
    Step 2 Choose View > Properties Bar.
    The expression 'perform the following steps' is certainly a bit heavy-handed. Why not 'To view the properties of an NE, do the following...'. Then, if you need to cross-refer to a step number from elsewhere in the book, use "Step" as a sub-heading to the list (so that you don't have to keep repeating it). And if you don't need to cross-refer, just number the steps and avoid the word completely.

    Quote Originally Posted by help_bright View Post
    3.If any one of the above steps fails, the failure prompts appear
    or
    If any one of the above steps fail, the failure prompts appear.
    Strictly, the first: there is only one prompting event (though possibly with variable text), and the procedure will only let you make one mistake: so 'when any step fails, a failure prompt appears.'

    But the second is quite widely used, and is regarded by many as acceptable. It wouldn't bother me seriously in a technical manual; just avoid it in an exam!

    Have you ever wondered, though, why you're documenting this at all? Why not leave it to the UI - and make sure the prompts are literate?

    b

  3. BobK's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Sentence restructure

    PS
    On the last point: people don't read technical manuals for fun - they're trying to do something, and have to read the manual when something goes wrong (or, with any luck, they read the manual first, and nothing does). So you don't need to say what will be obvious to someone using the UI (User Interface).

    b

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