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    • Join Date: Feb 2007
    • Posts: 58
    #1

    Question Allie

    I copied and pasted part of a chapter and added a question. I think it was on May 13. I have not seen it posted. Was it too large? Allie


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #2

    Re: Allie

    Allie - try again. Incidentally, it would be much easier to track your postings if you gave them unique titles. Even Allie1 Allie2 is better than just all being Allie.


    • Join Date: Feb 2007
    • Posts: 58
    #3

    Question Cut and Paste from Novel

    Kathryn, with Rosie beside her, had gone to the lily pond gardens. She was so excited after talking with Anna Beth, without thinking, she sat with her back exposed. Her thoughts were deep. Would she indeed, get to see her beloved children, and have them around her for days? She turned quickly as she heard a soft sound behind her. Doctor Bennae spoke quickly to calm her alert.
    “Kathryn, I had a feeling you would be here. I brought you a sweater just in case.”
    “That was very kind”, she said as she slipped it on.

    Througout this novel, I have used first person and dialog. Could I have been using dialog as you see above? Allie


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #4

    Re: Cut and Paste from Novel

    Quote Originally Posted by Allie View Post
    Kathryn, with Rosie beside her, had gone to the lily pond gardens. She was so excited after talking with Anna Beth, without thinking, she sat with her back exposed. Her thoughts were deep. Would she indeed, get to see her beloved children, and have them around her for days? She turned quickly as she heard a soft sound behind her. Doctor Bennae spoke quickly to calm her alert.
    “Kathryn, I had a feeling you would be here. I brought you a sweater just in case.”
    “That was very kind”, she said as she slipped it on.

    Througout this novel, I have used first person and dialog. Could I have been using dialog as you see above? Allie
    Yes, you can use dialogue in this way.

    There are a number of grammatical errors in your passage.


    2nd sentence: insert "that" after "Beth" - you will find it reads more smoothly and makes better sense.
    4th sentence: omit the comma after "indeed". She would be more likely to have her children "with her" than "around her".

    You have used "quickly" in both the 5th and 6th sentences - change one of them. "alert" is the wrong word - "alarm" is probably the one you want.

    In dialogue, the punctuation goes inside the quotation marks.

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