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    • Join Date: Sep 2006
    • Posts: 433
    #1

    Please Please Please Help Me Urgently!!!!

    Are the any mistakes in the objective?


    To obtain a position within an existing or new call center where I can enhance my experience and contribute my skills to ensure the center exceeds expectations for superior customer service, maximum revenue generation, high agent productivity, call efficiency, high attendance, low turnover, and budget adherence.


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #2

    Re: Please Please Please Help Me Urgently!!!!

    Bit high flown to me. I think you will be better to restrict yourself a bit more :

    To obtain a position within an existing or new call center where I can contribute my skills to assist the center achieve high levels of customer service, efficiency, and economic success.


    • Join Date: Sep 2006
    • Posts: 433
    #3

    Re: Please Please Please Help Me Urgently!!!!

    Hello Anglika,
    Thanks a lot for your interest in helping me. I want to be one of agents. So will it (i.e.To obtain a position within an existing or new call center where I can contribute my skills to assist the center achieve high levels of customer service, efficiency, and economic success.) do?

    By the way, what about the following?

    To obtain a position within an existing or new call center where I can enhance my experience and contribute my skills to help the center exceed expectations for superior customer service and agent productivity.

    Can you tell me which one will work better? I personally feel yours.

  1. RonBee's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 16,551
    #4

    Re: Please Please Please Help Me Urgently!!!!

    I think meet or exceed their goals is better than exceed expectations.

    Perhaps:
    I wish to obtain a position within an existing or new call center where I can enhance my experience and contribute my skills to helping the center meet or exceed their goals for superior customer service and agent productivity.
    What do you think?

    (Normally, you want to avoid using too many "big" words, but "productivity" is one word you want to use as often as you can reasonably do so.)

    ~R


    • Join Date: Sep 2006
    • Posts: 433
    #5

    Re: Please Please Please Help Me Urgently!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    I think meet or exceed their goals is better than exceed expectations.


    Perhaps:
    I wish to obtain a position within an existing or new call center where I can enhance my experience and contribute my skills to helping the center meet or exceed their goals for superior customer service and agent productivity.
    What do you think?

    (Normally, you want to avoid using too many "big" words, but "productivity" is one word you want to use as often as you can reasonably do so.)


    ~R
    Thanks a lot for your interest in helping me, RB.

    Is it necessary to use "to wish"? The text is under the heading of "Objective" in my resume.


    • Join Date: Sep 2006
    • Posts: 433
    #6

    Re: Please Please Please Help Me Urgently!!!!

    Is it necessary to put 'to wish' at the beginning??


    • Join Date: Sep 2006
    • Posts: 433
    #7

    Re: Please Please Please Help Me Urgently!!!!

    plz HELP!

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • German
      • Home Country:
      • Germany
      • Current Location:
      • Germany

    • Join Date: May 2007
    • Posts: 61
    #8

    Re: Please Please Please Help Me Urgently!!!!

    I'd leave the "I wish" in, as without it it's not really a full sentence. And this is what you 'wish' or 'would like' to do, isn't it, to obtain......


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #9

    Re: Please Please Please Help Me Urgently!!!!

    If this is under a heading Objectives - you do not need "I wish". Your objective is to obtain..., not wish to obtain.

  2. RonBee's Avatar
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      • American English
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      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 16,551
    #10

    Re: Please Please Please Help Me Urgently!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    If this is under a heading Objectives - you do not need "I wish". Your objective is to obtain..., not wish to obtain.
    What verb should he use to replace "wish"?

    ~R

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