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    • Join Date: Jan 2007
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    #1

    leap upon, fell off, milk scattered

    The cat leaped upon the table, and the bowl which contained milk fell off the table. And the milk scattered here and there.

    Please correct my sentence.
    Last edited by user_gary; 23-Jun-2007 at 15:32.

  1. Casiopea's Avatar

    • Join Date: Sep 2003
    • Posts: 12,970
    #2

    Re: leap upon, fell off, milk scattered

    Check tense consistency.


    • Join Date: Jan 2007
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    #3

    Re: leap upon, fell off, milk scattered

    Thank you Casiopea.
    I have edited.

  2. Casiopea's Avatar

    • Join Date: Sep 2003
    • Posts: 12,970
    #4

    Re: leap upon, fell off, milk scattered

    Looks good.

  3. RonBee's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: leap upon, fell off, milk scattered

    I would prefer to see before and after posts.

    ~R

  4. RonBee's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: leap upon, fell off, milk scattered

    P.S.

    I wouldn't use scatter with milk. Instead, try:
    spill OR splash OR splatter
    ~R


    • Join Date: Jun 2007
    • Posts: 556
    #7

    Re: leap upon, fell off, milk scattered

    I would say "bowl of milk" instead of "bowl which contained milk."

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