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    • Join Date: Nov 2006
    • Posts: 81
    #1

    Does this sentence flow correctly?

    Does this sentence make flow correctly the way it is written?

    The 1890 Research and Extension Center constitutes an enormous portion of SCSU’s outreach activities in limited resource areas, which include methodical research projects, for the betterment of agriculture, technology and wellness operations.

    Thanks so much.


    • Join Date: Jun 2007
    • Posts: 42
    #2

    Re: Does this sentence flow correctly?

    G'day crussell,
    Quote Originally Posted by crussell View Post
    Does this sentence make flow correctly the way it is written?
    Does this sentence flow smoothly?
    {'the way it is written' is surperfluous as you are asking a well understood type of question.}

    Quote Originally Posted by crussell View Post
    The 1890 Research and Extension Center constitutes an enormous portion of SCSU’s outreach activities in limited resource areas, which include methodical research projects, for the betterment of agriculture, technology and wellness operations.
    Not really. There are punctuation problems that may be solved by including a semicolon but the rest of the sentence is vague and oddly constructed.
    If I may suggest a few tweaks as follows.

    The 1890 Research and Extension Center constitutes an enormous portion of SCSU’s outreach activities in limited resource areas, which include research projects involving; agriculture, technology and wellness operations.

    I am sorry that is the best I can do.
    I do not really know what you are trying to say with wellness projects and your use of methodical totally confused me.

    If you could explain a little I may be able to help more.
    See ya

    .,,


    • Join Date: Nov 2006
    • Posts: 81
    #3

    Re: Does this sentence flow correctly?

    I was proofreading a grant for a friend. I took your suggestion and structured the sentence, however, I would like to know the rule for using the semicolon where you placed it in the sentence?

    Thanks so much!

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