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    #1

    Please help me find 5 unnecessary words in the text

    Why is democracy such as a principle so potent?
    It is certain that it owes its strength to giving the people the means of refusing to be ruled without accountability.At a first sight this is quite a lame argument the system is good not just only because you can kick those in charge out.In practice it is immensely powerful.The electorate gives one lot a chance.If they are content they re-elect it.If it loses their own trust and the opposition gains their trust then a change of government occurs.A peaceful revolution based on the only one concept which ultimately matters-those who guvern are trusted by those who put them there.


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    #2

    Re: Please help me find 5 unnecessary words in the text

    Just 3 mistakes I found are:
    at a first sight> a
    just only because>only
    one lot a chance>lot


    I hope this helps you

  1. BobK's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Please help me find 5 unnecessary words in the text

    Quote Originally Posted by kayaburnu View Post
    Just 3 mistakes I found are:
    at a first sight> a
    just only because>only
    one lot a chance>lot


    I hope this helps you
    A bit too much! Let Oprica Laura have a go. We don't do homework for people, but we're glad to help after students have tried.

    b

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    #4

    Re: Please help me find 5 unnecessary words in the text

    Quote Originally Posted by Oprica Laura View Post
    Why is democracy such as a principle so potent?
    It is certain that it owes its strength to giving the people the means of refusing to be ruled without accountability.At a first sight this is quite a lame argument the system is good not just only because you can kick those in charge out.In practice it is immensely powerful.The electorate gives one lot a chance.If they are content they re-elect it.If it loses their own trust and the opposition gains their trust then a change of government occurs.A peaceful revolution based on the only one concept which ultimately matters-those who guvern are trusted by those who put them there.
    Hi
    Why is democracy so potent a principle /Why is democracy such a potent principle?
    It is certain that it owes its strength to giving [the -not necessary]people the means of refusing to be ruled without accountability.
    At [a - not necessary]first sight this is quite a lame argument the system is not good [not-wrong place] [just-not necessary] only because you can kick those in charge [out--not necessary].
    In practice it is immensely powerful.The electorate gives one [lot-not necessary] a chance.If they are content they re-elect it.If it loses their own trust and the opposition gains their trust then a change of government occurs.A peaceful revolution based on the only [one--not necessary] concept which ultimately matters-those who guvern are trusted by those who put them there.
    There have been more than 5 mistakes up to now!

    I am not sure, though. I`d like to see an expert`s opinion on that.
    At a first sight -I heard this phrase some time in the past and it does not seem wrong to me.
    All the best
    Last edited by Teia; 13-Jul-2007 at 19:50.

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    #5

    Re: Please help me find 5 unnecessary words in the text

    In a PM, the author explained that this wasn't homework, and that her confusion was caused by the question 'Find the 5 unnecessary words...' (rather than 'Find 5...'); here goes:

    Quote Originally Posted by Oprica Laura View Post
    Why is democracy [such] as a principle so potent?
    It is certain that it owes its strength to giving the people the means of refusing to be ruled without accountability.At [a] first sight this is quite a lame argument [- you need some sort of punctuation here, but that's not the exercise] the system is good not [just] only because you can kick those in charge out.In practice it is immensely powerful.The electorate gives one lot a chance.If they are content they re-elect it.If it loses their [own] trust and the opposition gains their trust then a change of government occurs.A peaceful revolution based on the only [one] concept which ultimately matters-those who govern are trusted by those who put them there.
    That's 5. You need the definite article before 'people', since the article is about democracy ("government by the people, of the people, and for the people").

    I prefer Teia's rewordings in most cases, but the paper is asking for excessive words rather than infelicities of style!

    b


    PS The word order in that quotation is wrong - it should be "of... by... for..."
    Last edited by BobK; 15-Jul-2007 at 11:52. Reason: PS added

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    #6

    Re: Please help me find 5 unnecessary words in the text

    Quote Originally Posted by Oprica Laura View Post
    Why is democracy such as a principle so potent?
    It is certain that it owes its strength to giving the people the means of refusing to be ruled without accountability.At a first sight this is quite a lame argument the system is good not just only because you can kick those in charge out.In practice it is immensely powerful.The electorate gives one lot a chance.If they are content they re-elect it.If it loses their own trust and the opposition gains their trust then a change of government occurs.A peaceful revolution based on the only one concept which ultimately matters-those who guvern are trusted by those who put them there.
    I know it's not part of the exercise, but one sentence actually needs more words. Can you tell me which one it is?

    (Note: you need to space between sentences.)

    ~R

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    #7

    Re: Please help me find 5 unnecessary words in the text

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    I know it's not part of the exercise, but one sentence actually needs more words. Can you tell me which one it is?

    (Note: you need to space between sentences.)

    ~R
    Is it the last sentence? Or am I wrong?

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    #8

    Re: Please help me find 5 unnecessary words in the text

    is it the third one..?

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    #9

    Re: Please help me find 5 unnecessary words in the text

    I've added a correction to my last post. I don't think the word order matters a lot, but a US constitutional lawyer might disagree!

    b

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    #10

    Re: Please help me find 5 unnecessary words in the text

    Quote Originally Posted by teia_petrescu View Post
    Is it the last sentence? Or am I wrong?
    See:
    If they are content they re-elect it.
    That sentence needs to be rewritten.

    ~R

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