I have provided suggestions and comments in brackets. You seem very well-organized and easy to follow; most of my suggestions are in the interests of flow and/or clarity.Hi teachers and scholars,
I want to improve my writing skill[s] in order to gain the success in IELTS exam [this sounds a little strange to me; I would probably say "in order to succeed on the IELTS exam" here instead]. Please drop me some comments and proofreading for me, many thanks!!
The costs of medical health care are increasing all the time. Governments are finding it difficult to balance the health care budget.
Should citizens be totally responsible for their own health costs and take out private health insurance, or is it better to have a comprehensive health care system which provides free health services for all? Discuss. (Topic)
No matter how difficult [it is] to balance the health care budget, [a] safety net in the form of a basic free health care system should [be] present for people who cannot afford to pay their medical service bills. Also, [people who are able to afford private health insurance] should have the [legally enforced] responsibility not to waste social resources by using this “free” medical service. [Such a policy would ensure that our government could] maintain [a system of free health care] for [the] public.
As we all know, many poor [people] who are entitled [to health care] as citizens [live] in poverty, and most of them cannot afford to pay medical service bills. Therefore, the government has the responsibility to provide them free health care service[s] until they are able to take care of themselves. However, if they are working, they should still pay a small among of income (say 1 to 2 percent) as a tax to maintain the “free” health service.
[However, for wealthy] citizens, [the situation is different] because they can afford to pay their medical bills. In fact, they have many alternatives [List some others here, too, because the word "many" implies that you are going to discuss more than one. Or you could just remove "In fact, they have many alternatives" and substitute "They have the alternative of paying for private health insurance."] Th[is] private health insurance provides a list of services for them, [such as being] able to choose their own doctors, and they can avoid [long waiting lists for] hospital beds. In addition, the cost of [remove "medical;" in this case it is redundant] health care will be [reduced] if they are privately insured.
In conclusion, we should encourage all people to insure their health, but it is unreasonable to suppose that all people can afford it. So, free medical care should be [provided] for those who are in need.
Student or Learner