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  1. HangmaN
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    #1

    Please help me

    Hi everyone

    I'm studying in the Arab Open University, I have an assignment.
    Can anyone help me to correct grammar and phrases Mistakes for this essay?

    This is the question.

    PART B. Write your essay here. Make sure each topic sentence is developed in one body paragraph and supported by details. Use transitions to connect your ideas. Edit your essay when done. (6 points)

    and this is my essay and I hope your help

    "The purpose of university is education and study. Students prepare to become competent members of society, and they lead people into the right path. Every country has developed universities based on social, economic and traditional needs. Externally, universities in the world would have similar systems. However, a comparison of Arab Open University with other universities shows couple of similarities and some differences.

    The Arab university does not require accrual rate While Bahrain of University to require a certain The Arab Open University does not require a certain age; education is available to all the requirement to obtain a certificate of secondary

    The study at the University of Bahrain almost every day while the Arab Open University fortnightly, The study at the Bahrain of University traditional while the Arab Open University Advanced study Self-study"

    Thank you in advance



  2. RonBee's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Please help me

    Instead of making suggestions I am going to ask questions. That will (hopefully) encourage you to come up with the answers yourself.
    ~R
    Quote Originally Posted by HANGMAN View Post
    "The purpose of university is education and study.
    What is the purpose of study?

    Quote Originally Posted by HANGMAN View Post
    Students prepare to become competent members of society, and they lead people into the right path.

    Who is supposed to lead people onto the right path?

    Quote Originally Posted by HANGMAN View Post
    Every country has developed universities based on social, economic and traditional needs. Externally, universities in the world would have similar systems.

    What word there needs to be deleted?

    Quote Originally Posted by HANGMAN View Post
    However, a comparison of Arab Open University with other universities shows couple of similarities and some differences.

    How can you give a little more balance to that sentence?

    Quote Originally Posted by HANGMAN View Post
    The Arab university does not require accrual rate While Bahrain of University to require a certain The Arab Open University does not require a certain age; education is available to all the requirement to obtain a certificate of secondary

    How can you rewrite that so that it makes sense in English?

    Quote Originally Posted by HANGMAN View Post
    The study at the University of Bahrain almost every day while the Arab Open University fortnightly, The study at the Bahrain of University traditional while the Arab Open University Advanced study Self-study"
    Are there any grammar problems there? Are you missing anything?

    ~R

  3. HangmaN
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    #3

    Re: Please help me

    thank you so mush RonBee for help
    But I was you told me the essay ok or need to be amendment

    If you have a time try to help me again

    Have a nice day

  4. RonBee's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Please help me

    Quote Originally Posted by HANGMAN View Post
    thank you so mush RonBee for help
    Thank you so much RonBee for your help.
    Quote Originally Posted by HANGMAN View Post
    But I was you told me the essay ok or need to be amendment
    But I needed you to tell me if the essay is fine the way it is or if it needs to be changed.
    Quote Originally Posted by HANGMAN View Post
    If you have a time try to help me again
    If you have the time, try to help me again.
    Quote Originally Posted by HANGMAN View Post
    Have a nice day
    Have a nice day.
    I'm sorry, but the essay is not fine the way it is. It needs lots of improvement before it can even be close to being fine. I asked you the questions I asked you to help you improve things. You chose not to answer one single question.

  5. RonBee's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Please help me

    Quote Originally Posted by HANGMAN View Post
    "The purpose of university is education and study.
    The purpose of a university is education. What is the purpose of study? In other words, why do people study?


  6. Lwiza's Avatar

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    #6

    Re: Please help me


    hey Hangman,

    well I guess as RonBee was trying to tell you that your essay needs to improve its idea first that then you can try to correct its grammer.

  7. RonBee's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Please help me

    Quote Originally Posted by Lwiza View Post
    hey Hangman,

    well I guess as RonBee was trying to tell you that your essay needs to improve its idea first that then you can try to correct its grammer.
    The rewriting is as important as anything. If I do that for people they can postpone learning how to do it themselves. When you rewrite you have to look over the original to decide what to keep, what to change, and what to discard. When Hangman wrote "The purpose of university is education and study" he confused "education" and "study". The purpose (reason for the existence) of university is education. You need to study in order to learn (get an education), but it is education that is your reason for being there, not study. (If you are one of those super smart people who can get good marks without studying, maybe you won't need to study at all.)

    I was hoping that if he would answer the questions he would be able to make the necessary improvements on his own. (The one about education and study is probably the easiest.)

    More learning happens if you figure things out on your own. If, for example, I tell you that there are some punctuation problems in a sentence or group of sentences and you find and correct those problems then more has been accomplished (by you) than if I correct the mistakes myself. (Unfortunately, doing it this way causes me more work than if I rewrite the essay myself. (At least, it seems that way.))

    The teacher teaches, but the student has to do the learning.

    ~R

  8. HangmaN
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    #8

    Re: Please help me

    Hi RonBee
    I'm sorry
    I was very busy so I cannot answer your questions
    in sha allah next time I will answer them

    RonBee thank you so much

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