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    • Join Date: Aug 2007
    • Posts: 29
    #1

    help me! -best moment-

    So, I tried to describe my best moment, but I have a problem.

    So, I was in very large ferry. It consisted of a lot of floor, a lot of cabin, restaurant and shops.
    So, I went to the deck / dock (?) I took a look round, and I was surronded by the sea(?). I looked anywhere, I looked just the sea. It was a breath-taking moment.
    How could I tell it better and more beautiful?


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #2

    Re: help me! -best moment-

    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyka View Post
    So, I tried to describe my best moment, but I have a problem.

    So, I was on a very large ferry. It consisted of a lot of floors, many cabins, a restaurant and shops.
    So, I went onto the deck and looked around, and I was surrounded by the sea(?). Anywhere I looked , I saw just the sea. It was a breath-taking moment.



    How could I tell it better and more beautiful?
    A word of advice: do not use "So" as an introductory word.


    • Join Date: Aug 2007
    • Posts: 29
    #3

    Re: help me! -best moment-

    Thank you!

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