Results 1 to 2 of 2

    • Join Date: Sep 2007
    • Posts: 2

    Flow and my Thesis Statement

    I've always had trouble forming thesis statements for my essays. I am having a very difficult time forming a sentance that will combine what I want to write about in my essay.

    Here is my sentance,

    "Although both King and Barry have chosen to explore aspects of American culture by using the vernacular in their articles to juxtapose the serious with the trivial, Barry patronizes his audience with outright sarcasm while King befriends his readers with naughty jokes and funny observations, more subtly bring up deeper meaning to the reader."

    I feel like this is somehow awkward. The 3rd part of the sentance, really. Is it okay to tack on that last part of the sentance "more subtly.." or should I combine it somehow with the part about King?
    I dont want the reader to lose focus, and I feel that by tacking this on, he is. It doesn't flow. Ugh. Help!

  1. Editor,
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Japan

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 66,853

    Re: Flow and my Thesis Statement

    It should be 'bringing' and how about 'meanings'? Or 'Bringing up deeper meanings more subtly to the reader'?

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts