Student or Learner
When I was young I was an aggressive and enthusiastic child. Everybody was equal in my childhood and I glowed with pride. I aggressively tried many things. I sometimes succeeded, and I sometimes failed, but I never felt small. I was the leader of my peer group and I had many friends.
However, I found a shabby me as I advance in years and I know the world. Appearance, academic clique, financial ability and so on. Those things made me miserable. I was reluctant to give up such things, ‘I have been a man who has snobbery?’ but I was feeling that those thought was wrong and I who clung to those things was disappointed me. And when I took a long look at myself, I found that I seriously lost confidence.
So I tried to become a good person or person who is called a man of nice by another people. I would like to be a good person to everyone. But I became a man of lacking backbone. Next I would like to be a loved person by everyone. But I had broken heart in full of my mind unlike smiling and bright outward appearance. Considerate Behaviors I did for other person made me look ludicrously and the wrong thoughtful consideration took greedy away from me. And also I wished to be a sincere person. So I treated people truly but that return to me as a gun.
Suddenly, I thought. This was wrong. Obviously I was committing errors. The Fear approached beyond me. Soon I found out I first had to seek for me than what became a good person. I needed means that take out me. So I begun to write a diary I hadn’t ever written. I needed confidence. I needed passion. I thought the two will do. That way, I recovered me with writing a diary.
While I have written a diary, I knew the way I take care of me, strengthened my will and set up my sense of values. So, if someone has same agony and is standing at the life of crossroad, I don’t hesitate and will talk them, “search for you!”