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    • Join Date: Oct 2007
    • Posts: 9
    #1

    correction awaited

    SEARCHING FOR THE LOST
    i have lost a thing quite worthy and invalueable named "country".scared,aggravated,destroyed and with faltered courage,it is often found searching a road to democracy.i am despaired as there are no chances of its existance anymore.if i find it by chance, i know it is not going to stay with me for long.it makes me broke in tears when i remember its marvellous entry on world's map.ruthless community of politicians has always made fun of it but for me this ordeal pain has reached its limits.i cant see it striving for its existance.
    O GOD take it from us as we are not among those who carry the burden



    plz make corrections gramatically as well as compositionla


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #2

    Re: correction awaited

    Quote Originally Posted by waseem gurmani View Post
    SEARCHING FOR THE LOST
    i have lost a thing quite worthy and invalueable named "country".scared,aggravated,destroyed and with faltered courage,it is often found searching a road to democracy.i am despaired as there are no chances of its existance anymore.if i find it by chance, i know it is not going to stay with me for long.it makes me broke in tears when i remember its marvellous entry on world's map.ruthless community of politicians has always made fun of it but for me this ordeal pain has reached its limits.i cant see it striving for its existance.
    O GOD take it from us as we are not among those who carry the burden



    Plaese make corrections grammatically as well as compositionally
    Welcome to the forums.

    First point: Each sentence must start with a capital letter.
    Second point: one space follows each punctuation mark.
    Red highlights = misspellings [check in the online dictionaries: OneLook Dictionary Search

    If you could re-write it with these changes, it will be easier to comment on content as well as grammar.

    On first look it is worth it.


    • Join Date: Sep 2007
    • Posts: 1,153
    #3

    Re: correction awaited

    Quote Originally Posted by waseem gurmani View Post
    SEARCHING FOR THE LOST
    i have lost a thing quite worthy and invalueable named "country".scared,aggravated,destroyed and with faltered courage,it is often found searching a road to democracy.i am despaired as there are no chances of its existance anymore.if i find it by chance, i know it is not going to stay with me for long.it makes me broke in tears when i remember its marvellous entry on world's map.ruthless community of politicians has always made fun of it but for me this ordeal pain has reached its limits.i cant see it striving for its existance.
    O GOD take it from us as we are not among those who carry the burden



    plz make corrections gramatically as well as compositionla
    I agree with what Anglika has said. Make these changes as a first step and we will look at it further.

    You have written a powerful statement. Expressing yourself in such a manner, in a language that is not your native one, is very impressive. You are to be congratulated and I await your second draft to comment on it further.

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