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    • Join Date: Oct 2007
    • Posts: 16
    #1

    please correct it

    today,when i was preparing food in the kitchen i didn,t notice my cellphone rang, after some time when i felt bit tired i took my cellphone to check the time i was surprised to see some missed calls on my cell when i checked it those were from my school friend cheena it,s been long since we talked eachother. i wondered how after long time she called me therefore i messaged her to confirm whether she was calling to me or pressed the button mistakenly she replied with pick-up the phone then after few minutes she called back and this time i received the call. she inquired me about my health and studies so did i, while she was talking to me she was very excited i could feel/sense it. we talked about our school days and she told me how much she missed me whenever she crosses the school. today she missed me so much and decided to ring me up and infact i felt so good after her call. we talked eachother for more than two hours and promised to make call once a week and then we said good bye to eachother.


    please correct it and pick out the mistakes and tell me what other words can be replaced with mistakenly and i didn,t find correct word for when she go by or crosses the school and thank you in advance

  1. Amigos4's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Oct 2007
    • Posts: 54,914
    #2

    Re: please correct it

    Quote Originally Posted by bozi View Post
    today,when i was preparing food in the kitchen i didn,t notice my cellphone rang, after some time when i felt bit tired i took my cellphone to check the time i was surprised to see some missed calls on my cell when i checked it those were from my school friend cheena it,s been long since we talked eachother. i wondered how after long time she called me therefore i messaged her to confirm whether she was calling to me or pressed the button mistakenly she replied with pick-up the phone then after few minutes she called back and this time i received the call. she inquired me about my health and studies so did i, while she was talking to me she was very excited i could feel/sense it. we talked about our school days and she told me how much she missed me whenever she crosses the school. today she missed me so much and decided to ring me up and infact i felt so good after her call. we talked eachother for more than two hours and promised to make call once a week and then we said good bye to eachother.


    please correct it and pick out the mistakes and tell me what other words can be replaced with mistakenly and i didn,t find correct word for when she go by or crosses the school and thank you in advance
    Hi, bozi!

    Rather than re-writing your essay for you, I will offer a few suggestions for errors that you can easily correct.
    * The word 'I' is ALWAYS upper-case (capitalized).
    * The first word in a sentence is ALWAYS capitalized.
    * Some of your sentences are too long and contain several different thoughts. Re-read your sentences and see if you can make them easier to understand. The use of simple sentences is recommended for individual who are in the earlier stages of learning English.

    When you have corrected your essay, re-submit and we'll take another look at it.

    Cheers,
    Amigos4


    • Join Date: Oct 2007
    • Posts: 16
    #3

    Re: please correct it

    Today, I was cooking in the kitchen.My cellphone rang but I couldn,t notice
    it.After a while when I got exhausted. I sat and checked my cell to see the
    time.It was surprising to see calls from my old school friend Cheena.It,s
    been long since we talked to eachother.Firstly I sent her a message to know
    if she was calling or the button pressed by her mistakenly. She replied me
    and called back after a while.I received the call instantly. She asked
    after me and so did I.She was happy I could feel her excitment even on
    phone.We talked for hours about our old school days. She was telling how
    much She missed me therefore made a call eventually.We promised to make
    a call once a week and said good bye to eachother.

    please correct it now:( and tell me if could replace some words with others thank you.


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #4

    Re: please correct it

    Quote Originally Posted by bozi View Post
    Today I was cooking in the kitchen.My cellphone rang but I couldn,t [apostrophes = '; couldn't implies that there was a noise or something preventing you hearing your phone; didn't means that you failed to hear it.] notice
    it. After a while when I got exhausted, I sat and checked my cell [cellphone/mobile phone] to see the time. It was surprising to see calls from my old school friend Cheena.It,s been long [a long time] since we talked to each other.Firstly I sent her a message to know if she was calling or the button pressed by her mistakenly [had she pressed the button in error/mistakenly]. She replied and called back after a while.I received the call instantly. She asked after me and so did I [This means you asked after yourself. "...I asked how she was/I returned the greeting] .She was happy. I could feel her excitment even on the phone.We talked for hours about our old school days. She was telling [told me/said] how much she missed me and therefore had eventually made a call.We promised to make a call once a week and said good bye to each other.

    please correct it now:( and tell me if could replace some words with others thank you.
    One space after any punctuation.

    Each other = two words.



    • Join Date: Oct 2007
    • Posts: 16
    #5

    Re: please correct it

    thank you :)

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