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  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner

    • Join Date: Oct 2007
    • Posts: 9
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    #1

    please correct me

    this is a question---> read the article and write an english letter in 200 words


    "you had a business appointment to meet mr. jackson in your office at 10:30 a.m. last thursday. but you failed to keep it because he came to see you on tuesday instead of thursday while you were not in the office. when you took the call about the appointment from mr. jackson's office, you confirmed the time and day were fine with your schedule through you couldn't check it with your secretary who was out of town. the problem was actually caused by mr. jackson's secretary who intended to say tuesday but due to a slip of the tongue she mispronounced it thursday.


    write a tactful letter that doesn't bluntly say "it's your fault: don't blame me" but that shares the blame.


    " Dear Mr. Jackson

    how hane you been these days? Thankfully, i have been very well since you have concerned about me. The reason why i am wrting this letter is to talk about the last appointment we missed with you.

    when i heard that you came to my office to see me for the appointment, i was so surprised , since i thought the appointment was supposed to be on thursday. i believe that i surely confirmed the appointment with your secretary on thursday 10:30 in my office. i just found the reason why we couldn't make the meeting, because the secretary intended to say tuesday for the meeting but due to a slip of the tongue, she mispronounced it tuesday which was fine for me. i am feeling very sorry for that we could not make it, since it was quite important for both of us.

    so if you don't mind i want to make a new one as soon as possible for its importance. when you get this message i hope you to call me back to discuss about another meeting and other stuffs.

    thank you for your concern

    sincerely yours

    joseph choi." <---this is what i wrote for the question




    p.s. i hope you would correct the grammatical errors and since it's my first time to write formal letter i am surely not familiar with formal letter form
    so if you are possible please cite the form of formal letter and if you can please give me the example of it and give me your opinion on what i wrote. since i don't know the native country's style in gramma area i hope you would teace me those grammars for letter
    thank you and hope you would get what i mean=)


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
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    #2

    Re: please correct me

    Here is a revised version for you to compare with yours.

    " Dear Mr. Jackson

    I am very sorry that there was a confusion about the date of our meeting.


    When I heard that you had come to my office to see me, I was so surprised since I had the appointment written down for Thursday and my secretary is currently away, so I could not check with her. I confirmed the appointment with your secretary for Thursday 10:30 in my office. I believe that your secretary may have intended to say Tuesday for the meeting but due to a slip of the tongue, she said Thursday, which was fine for me.

    I am sorry that I was not there and that the meeting did not take place, since it was quite important for both of us. I would like to make a new date for this meeting as soon as possible. Please call me to arrange for an alternative time and date.

    I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

    Yours sincerely,


    Joseph Choi."





    You must remember to start each sentence with a capital letter.
    You must always use a capital "I" for the personal pronoun.
    Proper names [such as the days of the week and personal names] start with a capital letter.

  2. Newbie
    Student or Learner

    • Join Date: Oct 2007
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    #3

    Re: please correct me

    thank you teacher actually i didn;t expect of this home page to correct it like what you did.. i am really appreciated of it and will do my best to improve my skill with this page thanks a lot!! =)


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
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    #4

    Re: please correct me

    Quote Originally Posted by cyh987 View Post
    thank you teacher actually i didn;t expect of this home page to correct it like what you did.. i am really appreciated of it and will do my best to improve my skill with this page thanks a lot!! =)
    Good - but you haven't followed the advice given about sentences and capital letters

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