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    • Join Date: Nov 2007
    • Posts: 4

    Help me please with this Narration thanks

    A Special Place

    . "Chillon" is a Small stream near the city of Canta in my country Peru. This small stream was for me a marvelous place where I was accustomed to rested and to thought tranquilly when was youthful and lived in the city of Canta place where I born with my family.

    1– I was accustomed I go to small Stream when I was necessary to take a breath and resting in the edge, Also passed long time listening the fluency of the water and when the sun was strong entered to the river and swam all it was for me somewhat marvelous.

    2. - When I entered to the edge of the river; and I am feeling the tepid water, and listened to sing of the birds in all its details it gave me gratifying energy and I could understand why? it is important that the nature keep its place in this world; and but even keeping in mind that when I went in the afternoon i liked to fish trout and spent hours after hours it imported if fished or her not but important was for me that over there I found that peace that many times do not find in my house perhaps because the family was quite large.

    3. -.To extraordinary thing was when that pure air that breathed to tranquility gave me then I forgot me of all and alone felt the peace. And it is a place where I am able to live in harmony with the nature and to be able to agree me of all my memories of times and places that will always remain near my heart. Also I liked to read and to do my tasks over there because with the tranquility I can understand and to resolve any task that tapeworm of the school, but is important too explain that all that can because my family had a small farm near of the small stream

    Finally, It was the most charming place than I remember of my country, and just as such I can recommend my friends so that they will visit this marvelous place, and they can understand why? I love so much the small stream because It is a beautiful and peaceful small place for any body.

    • Join Date: Dec 2007
    • Posts: 3

    Re: Help me please with this Narration thanks

    Compare this with what you have written.

    I was resting by the small stream of Chillion and thought how tranquille it was. I was born in the nearby city of Canton and I have lived here all my life with my family.
    It was a marvellous resting place and brought back all my youthful memories.While there I would listen to the gentil murmer of the water and the tunes of the song bird as they flew overhead.
    In the tepid water I would occasionaly fish.
    But if I was not successful I would be happy to while away the time away from home and my large family.
    I also liked to read and think about my tasks at school and the work I had on to do on my family's farm.When asked, I tell my friends that the little stream, Challion, just outside Canton is a chaming spot to rest and meditate.I would recommend it to anyone.
    You have above the basis of a good essay. Remember to write short sentences and explain one or two things at a time.Add some of the things I have left out but don't clog you essay and don't repeat yourself.Good luck with your essay writing.

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