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    #1

    Is this punctuated correctly? If not, please give me the correct way?

    While the patient was examined, for the first one minute he sat quietly, and then suddenly, he had an outburst and threw the book on the floor. He got up and starting pacing and yelling. At that point, he left the room.

  1. RonBee's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Is this punctuated correctly? If not, please give me the correct way?

    The punctuation is just fine. However, you might try:
    While the patient was being examined, he sat quietly at first. However, after about a minute he erupted. He took the book he had been holding and threw it on the floor. Then he stomped around the room while yelling at the nurses. Then he abruptly left the room.
    ~R

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    #3

    Re: Is this punctuated correctly? If not, please give me the correct way?

    This is the way I would do it:
    While the patient was examined, for the first one minute he sat quietly, and then suddenly he had an outburst and threw the book on the floor. He got up and starting pacing and yelling. At that point he left the room.

  3. RonBee's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Is this punctuated correctly? If not, please give me the correct way?

    At what point?

    ~R

  4. Hi_there_Carl's Avatar

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    #5

    Re: Is this punctuated correctly? If not, please give me the correct way?

    Ha-ha.... Got me....

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    #6

    Re: Is this punctuated correctly? If not, please give me the correct way?

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    The punctuation is just fine. However, you might try:
    While the patient was being examined, he sat quietly at first. However, after about a minute he erupted. He took the book he had been holding and threw it on the floor. Then he stomped around the room while yelling at the nurses. Then he abruptly left the room.
    ~R
    RonBee
    Why did you decide that there were nurses present and that the patient was stomping?
    The question was only about punctuation, and I agree with 'Carl' that the comma after "suddenly" should be omitted. I think the comma after "point" is optional, so I also would omit it.
    Last edited by 2006; 19-Nov-2007 at 02:44.

  5. RonBee's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Is this punctuated correctly? If not, please give me the correct way?

    Quote Originally Posted by 2006 View Post
    RonBee
    Why did you decide that there were nurses present and that the patient was stomping?
    The question was only about punctuation, and I agree with 'Carl' that the comma after "suddenly" should be omitted. I think the comma after "point" is optional, so I also would omit it.
    You are right. Both commas should be omitted.

    As for the nurses, if he is going to be examined, somebody has to be present. And he has to be yelling at somebody. (Actually, he doesn't have to be yelling at somebody. He could be just yelling. But we know there were other people present.) Also, if he is going to throw a fit (which he does) stomping works better than pacing.

    ~R

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    #8

    Re: Is this punctuated correctly? If not, please give me the correct way?

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    You are right. Both commas should be omitted.

    As for the nurses, if he is going to be examined, somebody has to be present. And he has to be yelling at somebody. (Actually, he doesn't have to be yelling at somebody. He could be just yelling. But we know there were other people present.) Also, if he is going to throw a fit (which he does) stomping works better than pacing.

    ~R
    When a doctor or a physiotherapist or whoever is examining a patient, I think no one else is likely to be present unless a male doctor is doing a pelvic exam (on a woman).

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