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  1. Rian
    Guest
    #1

    Question about wedding invitation

    this sentence sounds so weird, but i can't correct it. Could anyone
    please tell me what's wrong? i'm making a flash wedding invitation for
    my wedding. these words are seperated into parts and animated.
    a part will show up and they will disappear right before other parts show.
    the sentence read:


    some poople
    come and go
    in your life
    however
    someone will stay
    forever.

    does this sound correct? could anyone PLEASE help me?
    any help is greatly appreciated

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Tamil
      • Home Country:
      • France
      • Current Location:
      • France

    • Join Date: Nov 2007
    • Posts: 241
    #2

    Re: Question about wedding invitation

    Quote Originally Posted by Rian View Post
    this sentence sounds so weird, but i can't correct it. Could anyone
    please tell me what's wrong? i'm making a flash wedding invitation for
    my wedding. these words are seperated into parts and animated.
    a part will show up and they will disappear right before other parts show.
    the sentence read:


    some poople
    come and go
    in your life
    however
    someone will stay
    forever.

    does this sound correct? could anyone PLEASE help me?
    any help is greatly appreciated
    " People may come and go however someone will last forever in your life"
    This may be correct!
    regards


    • Join Date: Nov 2007
    • Posts: 5,409
    #3

    Re: Question about wedding invitation

    ...but in that form, it doesn't lend itself to flashing a few words at a time, which Rian wants - and that would certainly add to the impact and poignancy. While you're waiting for others to come up with something brilliant, I'll keep tossing it around in my own mind on the off-chance...

    A bit later: can someone kick this possibility around?:
    Most people I know
    Seem to come and go.
    That's Life. Whatever.
    But come the day
    When someone will stay:
    My Wife. Forever
    Last edited by David L.; 30-Nov-2007 at 16:17.


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #4

    Re: Question about wedding invitation

    Quote Originally Posted by David L. View Post
    ...but in that form, it doesn't lend itself to flashing a few words at a time, which Rian wants - and that would certainly add to the impact and poignancy. While you're waiting for others to come up with something brilliant, I'll keep tossing it around in my own mind on the off-chance...

    A bit later: can someone kick this possibility around?:
    Most people I know
    Seem to come and go.
    That's Life. Whatever.
    But come the day
    When someone will stay:
    My Wife. Forever
    As a matter of interest - why the colon after stay?

    But come the day
    When someone will stay
    My wife - for ever.


    • Join Date: Nov 2007
    • Posts: 5,409
    #5

    Re: Question about wedding invitation

    Your way suggests ' when somebody will stay as my wife forever, not like those other two $%@! who dumped me after a year and took me for all my money...."

    It's a wedding invite. I took liberties. I matched it with the style of That's Life. Whatever. I used the colon because: 'but come the day when someone will stay' - up to that point, it is just a wistful wish, a dream. On the next line, and with the use of the colon, I was trying for...it's happened! It's actually happened! The day has come - my wedding day. That person is a wife. MY Wife... and it's Forever.

    I give you, it's a tricky one,and a lot to ask of any one punctuation mark!
    You've spurred me to keep working on it.

    A bit later: how about..

    Most people I know
    Seem to come and go.
    Cest la Vie.
    That's Life. Whatever.
    But come the day
    When someone will stay..
    a someone for me...
    My Wife! Forever.

    In two minds about the exclamation mark though.
    Last edited by David L.; 30-Nov-2007 at 22:57.

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