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    • Join Date: Dec 2007
    • Posts: 26
    #1

    How to write better sentence?

    HI,

    I am selling products online. For that i need to send mails to the customers.

    For example,

    Dear Customer,

    Thank you for your interest. You have to pay Rs.1000 to get the product.
    Make payment to the following a/c details

    a/c details goes here.

    Thanks,
    My Name

    Please modify the above paragraph to look good.


    • Join Date: Nov 2007
    • Posts: 5,409
    #2

    Re: How to write better sentence?

    Dear Customer,

    Thank you for your interest in the WizzBang Deluxe (name of your product). The cost of this is Rs.1000 which includes packing and postage.

    Payment may be made directly to the following account:

    a/c details goes here.

    Many thanks

    My Name

    Are you sure you want to post banking details on the Internet? If this is your only way of receiving payment (no credit card payments etc) then I would suggest you open a separate bank account specifically to receive these payments…and keep it empty! As soon as money goes in, transfer it into your regular account.


    • Join Date: Dec 2007
    • Posts: 26
    #3

    Re: How to write better sentence?

    Thanks for your advice. I will use separate bank a/c for this purpose.

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