I'd like to help a friend of mine. He wrote the biography of his band and I translated it. Can you tell me whether the text is correct?
How could I improve it? Please - it is important!!!!
This is the text:
CAGE started off in Carrara, Italy, in 1987; and after some changes the line-up includes:…………(NAMES)
The group played many gigs, mostly in the central region and the north of Italy. They took part in several shows and competitions such as Savona Rock (final round
( or, Savona Rock (finalists)
This would be the same for each time you've written 'final trial'.
at the Palasport, Savona 1989), Festival Europa Spettacolo (final round in Chianciano Terme, Siena 1990), Musica Nelle Scuole (final round at the Piper, Roma 1990) and Yamaha Band Explosion (final round at the City Square, Milano 1991).
In 1992 they signed a contract with the record company TOAST, in Torino, and published the single The View, included in the compilation Punto Zero (N°8, 1992) The following year they recorded their first album,
The Feeble-Minded Man (TDLP880, 1993), a suite dating back to 1987-88.
Are you sure you mean 'suite'? This word would indicate a set of instrumental compositions, originally in dance style, to be played in succession.
or a set of selected pieces from an opera or musical, arranged to be played as one instrumental work.
In 1994 they appeared at the Video Music TV show Segnali Di Fumo where they also presented their live video clip.
From the end of that year, the members of the group decided to work individually and to experiment with different kinds of music, like Jazz.
In the year 2000 they reunited, devoting themselves to a new project (which is-omit) focused on Progressive Rock and enriched by influences from other music genres,
'enriched' is perhaps not the word to use when discussing Rock music- it's too formal, literary a word. What about just:
Progressive Rock, with influences from other music genres, as the CD Demo recorded in March 2001 clearly shows.
In 2003 the band recorded a complete CD containing songs from 1987 to 1992, and included The Feeble-Minded Man suite.
In July 2003 CAGE participated in the I-TIM Tour rock contest (100 bands (were-omit) selected from among more than 4000 groups), ; won the Senigallia (AN) session; and participated in the final trial
do you mean trial?, - or round, concert, gig, final night???
in Milan on the 5th September. The video clip of the performance in Senigallia was broadcast on the satellite channel Rock TV (SKY). In 2004 the group signed a contract with [FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']Musea Records [/font]and in 2005, "87/94" came out. This release was a commercial success, and won praise from music critics in specialized magazines on the web. It went on to enjoy great success in many European countries as well as in Japan.
Look at the orange bits and let me know, and we'll finish it off.
Student or Learner