I would be grateful if you could let me know whether the following acknowledgement letter is appropriate in style or diction, and correct it where necessary. Thank you and sorry for the trouble.
Letter of Acknowledgement
(for the "ABCDE" charity event)
Dear As and Bs,
Your Support Helped Make the Day a Success
Who said that our As are lukewarm to school activities ?
Who said that our Bs are merely smart academically ?
The marvellous performance of our As and Bs at the "ABCDE" charity event on the FGH's Day has proved otherwise. Despite the chilly and windy weather on Saturday, warmth and sunshine filled the air of the campus. Generous donations from Cs/Ds were streaming into our collection centre one by one throughout the day, and our volunteers of IJKL Club were as busy as bees. At the close of the day, it was encouraging to find that we had been donated a total of 2 000 domestic items (60 packages in all), over 80% of which were clothing, bags and books while the [remainder was/rest were] different types of electrical appliances, stationery, interesting ornaments (Bruce Lee and Chinese Goddess of Mercy miniatures), musical instrument (a violin) and lovely toys. It was really an eye-opener and the most thrilling experience I have ever had.
For the success of the event, credit should go to my working partner so-and-so and her family. My workload was greatly relieved because of her meticulous on-site and logistic arrangements for the occasion, as well as her son [put his name in too] and husband Peter's help at the collection centre. My gratitude also extends to so-and-so, the better half of our Chairman [regarded as somewhat patronizing these days - keep it to "our Chairman's wonderful wife], and John, member of MNO,for sacrificing their family day to come to help all day. Surely, I must notforget to express my grateful appreciation to Mary, who squeezed out time from her busy schedule and catered the timely delicious lunch boxes and hot beverages for us. Last but not least, I would like to thank you - our parents - for your most generous contributions and the members of IJKL Club for their concerted efforts. Without your and their support and assistance, the charitable event would not have been so successful, and the needy would not have a warm and joyful Lunar New Year.
To end this, let me thank you again for your generosity and wish that you all reap one hundredfold the goodness that you sow in the months and years ahead.
So glad it went well!
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