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    • Join Date: Jan 2008
    • Posts: 8
    #1

    Could You Look At This

    This sentneces were tnagled up, i made changes but some of them i am not so sure if i did correct i need your opinions thank you very much
    I know it is so much but i need second opinion



    1. When Dontie worked at the Piggly Wiggley, she was 40 years old.
    2. Gertrude, when are you going to stop playing your Grateful Dead CD?
    3. Jon’s bologna sandwich however was full of nitrates and fat.
    4. There are no personal calls allowed on the library’s business phone, however they will charge patrons a quarter to use the pay phone.
    5. Unfortunately, Charles gave Sheryl everything she wanted in her life.
    6. What is my new role in this project? The stressed assistant asked, “I am not sure I want to prep for the new software integration all weekend”.
    7. Billy, please place an order at China Inn for the following items broccoli, stir fry, egg foo yong, and shrim dui ding.
    8. The Salvation Army is always in desperate need of bell ringers. The money goes to a good cause; however people are sometimes reluctant to donate until the end of a holiday bell ringing campaign.
    9. Until Gerund elementary school begins to accept responsibility for students with low scores in reading and math, the students will never learn the right way to approach junior high.
    10.It has been said that WJMC radio plays three kinds of music country, country and more country.
    11.The following track team members accepted awards on behalf of the Kleenex Company’s star athletic program; Jo Flanders, best runner, Jane Greeisman, best pole vault and Vince Opelta master shotput.
    12.If school and work are taking you in too many different directions, it may be time to consider using the student success center at WITC. However, the tutors and faculty will only work with you as you make progress, they will not complete assignments for you.
    13.When the city council meeting cancelled, the attendees went to the Anchor bar and ordered jalapeno burgers, however they were all overcome with heartburn.
    14.Write a sentence that demonstrates the correct use of parallel structure.
    15.Write a sentence that links two complete sentences (independent clauses) with a coordinating conjunction (FANBOYS).
    16.Can I type my papers on the Commodore 64 that I bought at Pawn America, Jim asked; however, I am not sure if it will work with Word 2007 software.
    17.Frankly, I do not care if Julia Roberts made $20 million for her last movie, Geoff said.
    18.Jennie, when are we going to eat dinner, the Campbell’s soup smells delicious.
    19.Writing powerful newsletters is very rewarding, however powerful writing is always time consuming. Allow plenty of time to produce quality work. That said, tight deadlines do not always allow that luxury.
    20.Mary please take the following proposal to Kinko is the Dottingham client file, the U.S.D.A. sanitation evaluation, and the Roberts report.
    21.Asok I cannot give rises to young employees; as soon as they get a few dollars in their pockets, they buy small motorcycles and disappear into the night.
    22.Each individual State in America has their own individual great qualities.
    23.Bad communication breaks up many relationships, couples must learn to talk about their differences.
    24.Lynn’s ten-year-old daughter acted in her first school play, she was fantastic.
    25.Keep me from saying words that later need recalling, guard me lest idle speech may from my lips be falling. This quote is part of a larger passage by Johann Heerman, however its wisdom is tough to apply.
    26.Lack of planning on your part does not necessarily mean an emergency on my part; the boss curtly told the struggling employee however, this might not have been the most empathetic way to mentor.
    27.Because Yolanda studied chemistry, she received an A.
    28.Each taxpayer should always claim all of his or her standard deductions.
    29.Violence on television is wrong; it teaches kids that it is okay to solve problems by fighting.
    30.Most people are about as happy as they decide to be. However, there are still many unhappy people out there.
    31.Jamie wants to go to the Tom Petty concert in Milwaukee, eat at the downtown Perkins restaurant, and in her spare time visit with the owners of County Stadium.
    32.When Governor Doyle and the state legislature waited several months to work out a budget deal for the State of Wisconsin it only hurt the residents.
    33.George, please type the following proposals for Mr. Jenkins Ms. Biby, and Dr. Fox, they are expecting the documents by the end of the day.
    34.When poor students put on academic probation, they do not always realize how serious it is.


    35.After listening to the hour-long boring lecture, Jim and his friends went to the Rothwell student center to drink smoothies and eat toasted cheese sandwiches. Kiwi banana is Jim and Hanks favorite flavor and Bill prefers guava passion fruit.
    36.After the striking steelworkers met, they had to come to terms with the fact that they have been without a paycheck for several weeks.
    37.Make up your own sentence using the Interrupters rule.
    38.Make up your own sentence using the Introducer rule.
    39.Helen blinked when the rain hit her face.
    40.You are done however; there is still one more sentence to fix.


    • Join Date: Jan 2008
    • Posts: 8
    #2

    Re: Could You Look At This

    is anybody will look at this sentences if i did wrong any of these.

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    #3

    Re: Could You Look At This

    I'll start, but there are too many sentences here, I'm afraid.

    3. Jon’s bologna sandwich however was full of nitrates and fat.

    Firstly, this sentence shouldn't exist on its own, because 'however' must refer to something that came before this. You can put 'however' in that position in the sentence, but it requires commas around it:
    Jon’s bologna sandwich, however, was full of nitrates and fat.
    You could also say:
    Jon’s bologna sandwich was, however, full of nitrates and fat.
    Or
    However, Jon’s bologna sandwich was full of nitrates and fat.


    • Join Date: Jan 2008
    • Posts: 8
    #4

    Re: Could You Look At This

    than you for your help i know it is a lot but i have to check them make sure they are correct.


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #5

    Re: Could You Look At This

    Quote Originally Posted by gracie12 View Post
    These sentneces were tnagled up, I made changes but some of them I am not so sure if I did correct I need your opinions. Thank you very much
    I know it is so much but I need second opinion



    3. Jon’s bologna sandwich however was full of nitrates and fat. However, Jon's...
    4. There are no personal calls allowed on the library’s business phone, however they will charge patrons a quarter to use the pay phone. "...phone; however, "
    6. "What is my new role in this project? " the stressed assistant asked, “I am not sure I want to prep for the new software integration all weekend."
    7. Billy, please place an order at China Inn for the following items broccoli, stir fry, egg foo yong, and shrim dui ding."items: broccoli..."
    8. The Salvation Army is always in desperate need of bell ringers. The money goes to a good cause; however, people are sometimes reluctant to donate until the end of a holiday bell ringing campaign.
    10.It has been said that WJMC radio plays three kinds of music: country, country and more country.
    11.The following track team members accepted awards on behalf of the Kleenex Company’s star athletic program: Jo Flanders, best runner, Jane Greeisman, best pole vault and Vince Opelta master shotput.
    13.When the city council meeting was cancelled, the attendees went to the Anchor bar and ordered jalapeno burgers, however they were all overcome with heartburn. burgers. However,
    16."Can I type my papers on the Commodore 64 that I bought at Pawn America?" Jim asked, "I am not sure if it will work with Word 2007 software,however."
    17."Frankly, I do not care if Julia Roberts made $20 million for her last movie," Geoff said.
    18."Jennie, when are we going to eat dinner? The Campbell’s soup smells delicious."
    19.Writing powerful newsletters is very rewarding. However, powerful writing is always time consuming. Allow plenty of time to produce quality work. That said, tight deadlines do not always allow that luxury.
    20."Mary, please take the following proposal to Kinko is the Dottingham client file, the U.S.D.A. sanitation evaluation, and the Roberts report." This sentence makes no sense.
    21."Asok, I cannot give rises to young employees; as soon as they get a few dollars in their pockets, they buy small motorcycles and disappear into the night."
    22.Each individual State in America has their own individual great qualities. its
    23.Bad communication breaks up many relationships. Couples must learn to talk about their differences.
    24.Lynn’s ten-year-old daughter acted in her first school play. She was fantastic.
    25.Keep me from saying words that later need recalling, guard me lest idle speech may from my lips be falling. This quote is part of a larger passage by Johann Heerman. However its wisdom is tough to apply.
    26."Lack of planning on your part does not necessarily mean an emergency on my part," the boss curtly told the struggling employee. However, this might not have been the most empathetic way to mentor.
    32.When Governor Doyle and the state legislature waited several months to work out a budget deal for the State of Wisconsin, it only hurt the residents.
    33."George, please type the following proposals for Mr. Jenkins, Ms. Biby, and Dr. Fox. They are expecting the documents by the end of the day.
    34.When poor students are put on academic probation, they do not always realize how serious it is.
    40.You are done; however, there is still one more sentence to fix.
    .

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