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I'm attempting to write a sitcom teleplay. Here are two excerpts from my first draft:
'HE COLLAPSES UP AGAINST THE BROKEN, RED-BRICK WALL, WIPES AWAY THE RIVULETS OF ICY-WARM SWEAT THAT CLOAK HIS FOREHEAD, EVEN MANAGING A THIN SMILE AT THE OUTRAGEOUSNESS OF THE ORDEAL.'
'HE DIGS INTO HIS POCKET, PULLS OUT A FIVER, TOSSING IT TO LEE...BEFORE SEIZING HIS MAGAZINE FROM KAREN'S UNREADY GRASP AND DASHING THE HELL OUT OF THERE.'
Is there a difference between the sets of examples above and below? Both are written in present tense, so I'm curious to learn how and why 'managing/manages', 'pulls/pulling', and 'tossing/tosses' are interchangeable. If indeed they are. ??
'HE COLLAPSES UP AGAINST THE BROKEN, RED-BRICK WALL, WIPES AWAY THE RIVULETS OF ICY-WARM SWEAT THAT CLOAK HIS FOREHEAD, EVEN MANAGES A THIN SMILE AT THE OUTRAGEOUSNESS OF THE ORDEAL.'
'HE DIGS INTO HIS POCKET, PULLING OUT A FIVER, AND TOSSES IT TO LEE...BEFORE SEIZING HIS MAGAZINE FROM KAREN'S UNREADY GRASP AND DASHING THE HELL OUT OF THERE.'
Thanks in advance for replies.
Yes, you are writing in the present tense, but there has to be a sequence to all the action:
'HE COLLAPSES UP AGAINST THE BROKEN, RED-BRICK WALL, WIPES AWAY THE RIVULETS OF ICY-WARM SWEAT CLOAKING HIS FOREHEAD, THEN MANAGES TO GIVE A THIN SMILE IN SPITE OF THE OUTRAGEOUSNESS OF THE ORDEAL.'
'HE DIGS INTO HIS POCKET, PULLS OUT A FIVER, TOSSES IT TO LEE...BEFORE SEIZING HIS MAGAZINE FROM KAREN'S UNREADY GRASP AND THEN DASHES THE HELL OUT OF THERE.'
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