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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    729

    Maiden princess

    sing for my heart
    cry your eyes out
    and I'll know that you are still there
    under our promised tree

    your pearly eyes
    bare my desires
    your maiden princess
    burns by your fires
    under your insatiable desires
    and above your sacred skies
    Feel for me.. your maiden princess is here for you.


    Are there any mistakes?
    Thanks in advance.

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    19,397

    Re: Maiden princess

    I would prefer to see punctuation.

    So far as I can tell there are no glaring errors, and it is expressive.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    729

    Re: Maiden princess

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
    Thank you Angilka. I finally wrote something without any mistake wow. This day is sacred and special. Wow.
    I didn't get what do you mean here: punctuation but Thanks again.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    420

    Smile Re: Maiden princess

    With punctuation:

    your pearly eyes
    bare my desires,
    your maiden princess
    burns by your fires.
    under your insatiable desires
    and above your sacred skies,
    Feel for me.. your maiden princess is here for you.

    Hope that helps, and unless you want to make writing in small case a trade mark of your own style (as has been done before), you could do with some capital letters at the beginnings of the lines.

    SB

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    729

    Re: Maiden princess

    ahaaaaaa I got it now. Thank you Shakespeare's brother.

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