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  1. #1
    susanandleo is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Mar 2008

    “Let America Be America Again”

    Please check for grammer and punctuation

    America is the land of the free, the melting pot of the world, a country that accepts everyone no matter what their circumstances are. However in the poem, “Let America Be America Again”, Langston Hughes captures the true reality of life in America. Hughes, ideally addresses the issues of how the land of opportunity has treated him, his bothers; the black people, and all who have been discriminated against in America.
    Let America be America again. Let it be a place where everyone is equal
    regardless of religion, race, or sex. Yes, it is also a home of democracy where no single tyrant rules unfairly. But is it a home where no one human is better than the next?
    People dream the opposite of the truth. They believe there is a great place across that border or across that pond, where the hungry are fed and the naked are clothed. This wonderful place called America is where everyone is safe from abuse. Yet is has proven to be the complete opposite again and again. People have been forced to leave their land. People, filled with hope and strength were bought and sold; slaved, tortured, and beaten to death because of the color of their skin. People have been persecuted for their beliefs. The weak ones have been stomped upon by the giants of society.
    Explorers as early as Columbus searched long and hard for a new world. Brave immigrants with spirits full of pride began coming to America in the 1500’s, to seek a free and better life. There was opportunity in this freedom land. Black people however, did not have a choice to come to a place so sacred. They were torn from their villages and chained together only to be sent on a long, traitorous journey. Upon arrival they were polished, groomed, and put up for auction. Blacks did not own their life, someone else owned it. Many in the crowd still haven’t risen to fruition. They’ve been kept in chains, not just chains made of steel, but by power and greed.
    Hughes loudly states in his literary piece of work that America needs to its country. They’ve bloodied their hands working the fields, produced piece after piece;
    hours on end, forcefully served the beautiful people, fight to defend their country, and still they are humiliated, hungry, and poor. These are the people that believed in the promise of a free and better life, who need to continue to fight for that ray of light.
    We ourselves are responsible for America. Everyday our men and women put their lives on the line for what we call freedom. Together, the people of America need to stand up and change our country. We need to bring back the dream and take hold of our land. America must recover from its past and together strive for a “homeland of the free”.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2008

    Re: “Let America Be America Again”

    I know you asked only for grammAr (do not MAR your gramMAR) and punctuation, but if I may make an observation-for I had a difficult time reading this-you use a lot of emotionalism and no proof. Because of this, the paper sounds more like a rant than an essay. What is the purpose of your paper? Forgive me if I have misjudged because I did not know the purpose.
    That said, before my mind gave up, I did find some things to recommend:
    Sentence 1 lacks parallelism. "the land of the free," "the melting pot of the world" are parallel. "a country..." is not.
    Everyone is singular. It needs to agree with its antecedent.
    Commas always go inside the last quotation mark.
    3-How does one "ideally address" any issue?
    Semicolons are used in a series of items if the items themselves contain commas.
    Good luck.

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