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  1. #1
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Bosnian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    6,948

    A Rock

    Dear people.
    Here is my new poem, please would you help me and proofread it

    A Rock

    The empty street.

    A car or a bicycle pass by now and then.

    It reminds me of a state of emergency

    during the war in my hometown.

    What is missing are the rattle of machine gun

    and a bomb exploding now and then.


    Block of flats inhabited by neighbours

    who seldom talk to each other.

    Instead, they watch TV, surf the Net.

    Keeping distance,

    is an established custom in this place.


    My tragedy,

    I have become one of them,

    avoiding people as much as I can,

    sitting in my prison flat,

    the peephole of the doors my closest friend.


    Am I still a human

    or a body without will,

    a prisoner of the past.

    Why must I become a rock in order to survive?

  2. #2
    Stilo is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    145

    Re: A Rock

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Dear people.
    Here is my new poem, please would you help me and proofread it

    A Rock

    The empty street.

    A car or a bicycle pass by now and then.

    It reminds me of a state of emergency

    during the war in my hometown.

    What is missing are/is the rattle of machine gun

    and a bomb exploding now and then.


    Block of flats inhabited by neighbours

    who seldom talk to each other.

    Instead, they watch TV, surf the Net.

    Keeping distance,

    is an established custom in this place.


    My tragedy,

    I have become one of them,

    avoiding people as much as I can,

    sitting in my prison flat,

    the peephole of the doors my closest friend.


    Am I still a human

    or a body without will,

    a prisoner of the past.

    Why must I become a rock in order to survive?
    Just a slight change.

    Regards Stilo

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