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  1. #1
    marian4eto is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    8

    Please revise my sentence!!

    Please, correct my sentence if needed! Thank you!

    "In addition, she is among the students who receive the University scholarship for excellent grades"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    5,403

    Re: Please revise my sentence!!

    "In addition, she is among the students who receive the University scholarship for excellent grades"

    Who is saying this, about whom, and at what point in time?

    "In addition, she is among the students who this year receive the University scholarship for academic merit."

    "In addition, she is among the students who received the University scholarship for academic merit."

    "In addition, she is among the students who will receive the University scholarship for academic merit."
    Last edited by David L.; 03-Apr-2008 at 08:29.

  3. #3
    marian4eto is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    8

    Re: Please revise my sentence!!

    :) You are right! I had to say what is it all about!

    Its a sentence from a recommendation letter for a student and the whole paragraph is

    "It has been a pleasure having Monika as a student in my classes. Shehas shown a strong level ofdedication,understanding and initiative, and was awarded with excellent marks for her performance. I would like to draw your attention to the fact that she wasexemptedfromthe final written exams in “Trade Economics” and “Trade Company Marketing”,due to the outstanding results she obtained in the examinations during the semester. This is a rare incident and an honor only granted to exceptional students. In addition, she is among the students who receive the University scholarship for excellent grades.This is why I consider Monika to be one of the most studious and responsible members of our Department."

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    5,403

    Re: Please revise my sentence!!

    I'd suggest:

    "In addition, she is among the students who have received the University scholarship for academic distinction."

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