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    #1

    Smile is this good English

    Hello, I'd like to ask native speakers if the following could be considered good English:
    "Despite of the anti-discrimination legislation related to disabled people in Bulgaria, and the campaigns aiming at changing the attitude towards them, Bulgarians’ perception of disabled people is still inaccurate and stereotypical, which in turn gives rise to attitude of pity, indifference and negativism.
    They are not treated equally at the labor market, either. The indifferent and passive attitude of Bulgarians towards disabled people has to do with the way disabled people perceive themselves: they treat themselves as passive receivers of social benefits. In practice, a great part of them continue to anticipate assistance in cash and in kind from the state, and do not try to be responsible for themselves, or to take initiative. "


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
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    #2

    Re: is this good English

    Quote Originally Posted by snade17 View Post
    Hello, I'd like to ask native speakers if the following could be considered good English:
    "Despite of the anti-discrimination legislation relating to disabled people in Bulgaria, and the campaigns aiming at changing the attitude towards them, Bulgarians’ perception of disabled people is still inaccurate and stereotypical, which in turn gives rise to attitude [an attitude/attitudes] of pity, indifference and negativism.
    They are not treated equally at the labor market, either. The indifferent and passive attitude of Bulgarians towards disabled people has to do with the way disabled people perceive themselves: they treat themselves as passive receivers of social benefits. In practice, a great part of them a great many continue to anticipate expect assistance in cash and in kind from the state, and do not try to be responsible for themselves, or to take initiative. "
    Minor alterations needed


    • Join Date: Nov 2007
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    #3

    Re: is this good English

    In spite of the...
    Despite the...
    ('despite of' is a very archaic form - you may need a new up-to-date dictiionary!


    Despite the anti-discrimination legislation and campaigns aimed at changing attitudes, Bulgarians’ perception of disabled people remains inaccurate and stereotypical. In turn, this gives rise to attitudes ranging from pity, to indifference, and negativism. (One can't be indifferent AND feel pity. One can't feel negativism AND be indifferent. Pity and negativism would be seen as different ends of the spectrum, hence 'ranging from')

    Disabled people do not receive equality of opportunity in the labour market. The indifference of Bulgarians towards disabled people is linked to the way disabled people perceive themselves: as passive receivers of social benefits. In practice, a large proportion continue to anticipate assistance in cash and in kind from the state, and do not strive for any form of independence."

    This is shaping up as a pulling-no-punches expose of Bulgarian people and society. Can we expect social comment on gays, the education system, and child-rearing practices?
    Last edited by David L.; 07-Apr-2008 at 13:45.

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    #4

    Smile Re: is this good English

    I don't understand "a pulling-no-punches expose of". Could you say it in other words.


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
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    #5

    Re: is this good English

    David is suggesting that you will reveal the truth about Bulgarian society without hiding or avoiding the truth in any way.


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    #6

    Re: is this good English

    'to anticipate assistance'

    Just re-reading it, and Anglika's suggestion to change 'anticipate' to 'expect' is quite right. I think i became a little complacent towards the end, rather than keeping up the vigilance.
    'expect' carries with it the sense of looking for something from someone as rightfully due to them in the circumstances.

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    #7

    Smile Re: is this good English



    Would you be so kind as to check the grammar in the following:

    "Most Bulgarians have a negative attitude towards people with different sexuality: homosexuals and transvestites. Only 17% of all asked declare that they could communicate freely with such people. Nearly 50% express their reluctance to share a room with a homosexual at work, three quarters wouldn’t make friends with such people, and 70% wouldn’t agree for their children to have a homosexual teacher. Five from ten Bulgarians confess that they would be upset if their child turned out to be gay. Bulgarians are most prejudiced against transvestites and least against homosexual women."


    • Join Date: Nov 2007
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    #8

    Re: is this good English

    "Most Bulgarians have a negative attitude towards people with alternative sexual lifestyles: homosexuals and transvestites. In one poll, only 17% stated that they could communicate freely with such people; and nearly 50% expressed a reluctance to share office space with a homosexual at work. 75% stated they would not make friends with such people, and 70% would

    not give consent for their children to have a homosexual teacher.
    or
    not consent to their children having a homosexual teacher.

    Five out of ten Bulgarians confess that they would be upset if their child turned out to be gay. Bulgarians are most prejudiced against transvestites and registered least prejudice against homosexual women."
    Last edited by David L.; 08-Apr-2008 at 13:15.

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    #9

    Smile Re: is this good English

    Thank you,David. Thank you very much.

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