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    #1

    Please correct my grammar

    Because the seller for model D1475 is your company, and we unable / cannot on behalf of / represent your company send the customer a quote / cost sheet. Therefore, Debbie would like you help to forward this message to Carrie. Please contact her if you have any query, or you may call me if there is any assist

  1. Neillythere's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Please correct my grammar

    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe2008 View Post

    As your company is the seller for model D1475 and we are unable to represent your company, or send the customer a quote / cost sheet, Debbie would like your help in forwarding this message to Carrie.

    Please contact her if you have any query, or you may call me if I can assist in any way.
    Hope this helps

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    #3

    Exclamation Re: Please correct my grammar

    Quote Originally Posted by Neillythere View Post
    Hope this helps
    Hi Neilly,

    I have revised some text, would you please take a look and correct me again. Thanks!

    As your company is the seller for model D1475, therefore, we are unable to represent your company to send the customer a quote. Debbie would like your help in forwarding this message to Carrie. Please contact her if you have any query, or you may call me if I can assist.

    Regards,
    Zoe

  2. Johnny's Avatar

    • Join Date: Nov 2006
    • Posts: 74
    #4

    Re: Please correct my grammar

    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe2008 View Post
    Hi Neilly,

    I have revised some text, would you please take a look and correct me again. Thanks!

    As your company is the seller for model D1475, therefore, we are unable to represent your company to send the customer a quote. Debbie would like your help in forwarding this message to Carrie. Please contact her if you have any query, or you may call me if I can assist.

    Regards,
    Zoe
    Here next is my version.

    As your company is the seller of model D1475,we are unable to represent your company to send the customer a quote. Debbie would like you to help forward this message to Carrie. Please contact her if you have any queries, or you may call me directly.

    Regards

  3. Neillythere's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Please correct my grammar

    Hi Zoe

    The way I read your original posts was that there were 2 reasons why you couldn't send a quote i.e:

    "As:
    a) your company is the seller [(or, maybe) agent] for model D1475 and
    b) we are unable to represent your company,
    [we are therefore unable to]
    c) send the customer a quote / cost sheet, and
    Debbie would like your help in forwarding this message to Carrie."

    i.e:
    1. We don't sell that particular product and
    2. We don't have an agreement in place to sell it on behalf of others, as their agent (but we could if we did).

    Hence the linking of condition a) and b) by "and".

    Using "therefore" before b) means that b) is a direct consequence of a) which, as in 2, above, it probably isn't - i.e. it's not because they are the seller, it's because you don't have an agreement in place.

    So, one more suggestion:

    "As your company is the seller for model D1475, and we don't currently represent your company, we can't send the customer a direct quote [/ cost sheet].

    Debbie would therefore like your help in forwarding this message to Carrie.
    If there is anything I can personally do to help, please let me know."

    i.e. to help you and your customers.

    This is a much more positive response, as what it is actually saying (reading between the lines) is:

    "Hey guys, we're not currently allowed to sell your products to our customers but, you might be able to consider our large regular/regional customer base as a potential new market for your products, if you are interested in signing an appropriate agreement with us."

    Regards
    NT

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