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  1. new2grammar's Avatar
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    #1

    is this sentence correct?

    A necklace and a pendant with every Balmain Watch
    And a necklace if you donít purchase..surprised !!

  2. Soup's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: is this sentence correct?

    What about?
    A necklace and a pendant come with every Balmain Watch, and the necklace is free, without purchase.

  3. Soup's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: is this sentence correct?

    What about?
    A necklace and a pendant come with every Balmain watch, and the necklace is free, without purchase.

  4. new2grammar's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: is this sentence correct?

    The sentence is good thanks for that but now want a shorter version of the samed sentence, if you can help me out...


    • Join Date: Nov 2007
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    #5

    Re: is this sentence correct?

    Count the indispensable nouns, the definite/indefinite articles that need to go with them, and the amount of information you are trying to convey - not do mention that you want to include 'Surprise!!'
    If somebody can convey the same meaning, in an acceptable advert format, with a significant reduction in length... Gunga Din Rides Again!

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