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    #1

    reading

    Dear teachers,

    I'm reading a text on the violence in Darfur and I'm trying to write some comments about it. Would you please correct my English and comment about the relevance of my remarks? I have underlined the words / expressions that I'm not sure about.

    "The Janjaweed are
    ① paramilitaries, members of an illegal group that is organized like an army /
    ② independent and illegitimate armed gunmen in Darfur /
    ③ an organization that operates like an army but whose members are not professional soldiers.

    The Janjaweed’s role is to
    ① assist / give a hand to (?) the Sudanese land and air forces in order to fight the rebel groups /
    ② defeat the rebel groups in conjunction with the Sudanese armed forces
    and regain the territories lost to them some years before.

    They terrorize the local population using fierce, barbaric, merciless methods, obeying no military code / ethic (?), fearing neither God nor man (?).

    The governmental operation / intervention aimed at defending the villagers, without the help of any militia, from the rebel groups close to the Chad government. The rebels have been attacking innocent civilians to conquer more territories, preventing humanitarians from doing their job [that's too vague, what can I say instead ?] and UN forces from protecting the region (?), and stealing their vehicles and equipment.

    Witnesses say that though the rebels represented a real danger to the civilians, the army did not protect the population from them since their intervention came well after the rebels had gone / left. Instead, they had called for the support of the illegitimate armed group, the Janjaweed, who has no other strategy (?) than decimating whole villages, killing whoever is on their way no matter their sex or age, and stealing all their goods and possessions."

    I'm still working on the text so I may well come back to you with other questions if you wouldn't mind.
    Thank you for your help.
    Best regards,
    Hela
    Last edited by hela; 03-Jun-2008 at 04:55.


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
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    #2

    Re: reading

    Quote Originally Posted by hela View Post
    Dear teachers,

    I'm reading a text on the violence in Darfur and I'm trying to write some comments about it. Would you please correct my English and comment about the relevance of my remarks? I have underlined the words / expressions that I'm not sure about.

    "The Janjaweed are
    ① paramilitaries, members of an illegal group that is organized like an army /
    ② independent and illegitimately armed gunmen in Darfur /
    ③ an organization that operates like an army but whose members are not professional soldiers.

    The Janjaweed’s role is to
    assist / give a hand to (?) the Sudanese land and air forces in fighting the rebel groups /
    ② defeat the rebel groups in conjunction with the Sudanese armed forces
    and regain the territories lost to them [lost to whom? not clear] some years before.

    They terrorize the local population using fierce, barbaric, merciless methods, obeying no military code / ethic (?), fearing neither God nor man (?)ok.

    The governmental operation / intervention Government operations are aimed at defending the villagers, without the help of any militia, from the rebel groups close to the Chad government. The rebels have been attacking innocent civilians to conquer more territories, [omit this] preventing humanitarians from doing their job [that's too vague, what can I say instead ?humanitarian organizations from assisting the victims of the conflicts] and UN forces from protecting the region (?ok), notably by stealing their vehicles and equipment.

    Witnesses say that though the rebels represented a real danger to the civilians, the army did not protect the population from them since their intervention came well after the rebels had gone / left. Instead, they had called for the support of the illegitimate armed group, the Janjaweed, which has no other strategy (?ok) than decimating whole villages, killing whoever is in their way no matter their sex or age ok, and stealing all their goods and possessions."

    I'm still working on the text so I may well come back to you with other questions if you wouldn't mind.
    Thank you for your help.
    Best regards,
    Hela
    .

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    #3

    Re: reading

    Good morning, Anglika

    ② defeat the rebel groups in conjunction with the Sudanese armed forces and regain the territories lost to them [lost to whom? not clear] some years before.
    Should I write "regain the territories lost to the rebels some years before". In fact, this is what I wrote before but changed it because I thought it to be repetitive.

    Have a nice day


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    #4

    Re: reading

    Quote Originally Posted by hela View Post
    Good morning, Anglika

    Should I write "regain the territories lost to the rebels some years before". In fact, this is what I wrote before but changed it because I thought it to be repetitive.

    Have a nice day
    The Janjaweed’s role is to assist Sudanese land and air forces in fighting the rebel groups and thereby regain the territories lost to themsome years before.

    How about this minor change?

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    #5

    Re: reading

    Hello,

    I have used what your corrections and added a few things. Would you please tell me what you think of it? Are my tenses correct and my text coherent ?

    1.The Janjaweed are paramilitaries, independent and illegitimately armed gunmen in Darfur recruited from the nomadic Arabic-speaking African tribes. They have been set up by the Sudanese government and appointed / instructed to “faire le sale boulot” (?). They are responsible for the genocide in 2003, an attempt to eradicate the sedentary population in Darfur.

    2.The Janjaweed’s role is to assist to the Sudanese land and air forces in defeating the rebel groups and target the tribes from which the rebels draw support.

    3.They terrorize [syn: terrified / other verbs ?] the local population using fierce, barbaric, merciless methods, obeying no military code, fearing neither God nor man.

    4. After the rebels had attacked innocent civilians, prevented humanitarian organization from assisting the victims of the conflicts and hampered UN forces / peacekeepers from protecting the region and monitoring the ceasefire in the country, notably by stealing their vehicles and equipment while travelling from one place to another, the Sudanese government claims that its operations are aimed atregaining the territories lost to the rebels some years before, defending the villagers from the bandits / brigands close to the Chad gvt, ensuring the smooth running of international aid and rescue operations. [I think that my sentence is too long] It also deny going into operation in collaboration / engaging in a military operation with any militia. [is there an English verb for "se défend de + verbe" other than "to deny" ?]

    5. Witnesses refute the official declaration of the government and say that though the rebels represented a real danger to the civilians, the army did not protect the population from them since their intervention came well after the rebels had gone. They affirm that the Sudanese government, while publicly denying that it supports the Janjaweed, has participated in ruthless joint attacks to dissuade the local tribes from backing the rebels. Observers are appalled by the savagery of the assault, and the disproportionate means used against the defenceless / helpless population.They attest that the armed forces had no other strategy than decimating whole villages, killing whoever is in their way no matter their sex or age, and stealing all their goods and possessions. The carnage / massacre / slaughter can be assimilated to the 2003 genocide and led once again the local population to flee their hometown.

    Thanks a million
    Last edited by hela; 05-Jun-2008 at 17:23.

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