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  1. new2grammar's Avatar
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      • Punjabi
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      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 880
    #1

    kindly help me to re-write this

    Add more charm to your elegance. You will receive a Mottommo necklace and a Mottommo pendant when you purchase a watch and a Mottommo necklace even if you do not! Impress that special someone in your life by giving her exquisite jewellery.


    Kindly helpme to rewrite it in more classic manner I mean it should look sophisticated, specially the line - a Mottommo necklace even if you do not! here i want to say that you get a necklace and a pendant if you buy watch and still a necklace if you do not

    Thanks in advance!
    Last edited by new2grammar; 04-Jun-2008 at 18:58.


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #2

    Re: kindly help me to re-write this

    Quote Originally Posted by new2grammar View Post
    Add more charm to your elegance. You will receive a Mottommo necklace and a Mottommo pendant when you purchase a watch and a Mottommo necklace even if you do not! Impress that special someone in your life by giving her exquisite jewellery.


    Kindly helpme to rewrite it in more classic manner I mean it should look sophisticated, specially the line - a Mottommo necklace even if you do not! here i want to say that you get a necklace and a pendant if you buy watch and still a necklace if you do not

    Thanks in advance!
    Add elegance to her charm. When you purchase a watch, you will receive as a gift a Mottommo necklace and a Mottommo pendant. Impress that special someone in your life by giving her exquisite jewellery.

    I cannot work out how you receive this free necklace. Do you go into the shop, look at the watches, and then say "No - don't want to buy one", and are then given a box with a necklace in it?

    If so, then how about: Even if you do not want a watch at this moment, we will give you a Mottommo necklace because we appreciate your interest.



  2. new2grammar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Punjabi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 880
    #3

    Re: kindly help me to re-write this

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    Add elegance to her charm. When you purchase a watch, you will receive as a gift a Mottommo necklace and a Mottommo pendant. Impress that special someone in your life by giving her exquisite jewellery.

    I cannot work out how you receive this free necklace. Do you go into the shop, look at the watches, and then say "No - don't want to buy one", and are then given a box with a necklace in it?

    If so, then how about: Even if you do not want a watch at this moment, we will give you a Mottommo necklace because we appreciate your interest.

    your guess was perfect and the sentence framed as exactly as I wanted to......Thanks a lot for your kind help.

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