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  1. new2grammar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Punjabi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 880
    #1

    Kindly check my paragraph

    We have the limited edition of 88 pieces only, so be the one to own it before it vanishes. Come and seize the opportunity to own a legacy of exceptional craftsmanship, a marvelous creation that will make your eyes sparkle like diamonds.

    Is there any better way to write it in more sophisticated language, specially / particularly the starting line of the paragraph

    Thanks in advance!


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #2

    Re: Kindly check my paragraph

    Quote Originally Posted by new2grammar View Post
    We have the limited edition of 88 pieces only, so be the one to own it before it vanishes. Come and seize the opportunity to own a legacy of exceptional craftsmanship, a marvelous creation that will make your eyes sparkle like diamonds.

    Is there any better way to write it in more sophisticated language, specially / particularly the starting line of the paragraph

    Thanks in advance!
    There are only 88 examples of this exceptional piece of craftsmanship. Seize the opportunity to be an owner of a marvelous creation that will be the envy of all.

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