Originally Posted by bhaisahab
Who / whom did you go with? Most of us would use who. But by rewriting it slightly, it's easy to see that it has to be whom. "Did you go with he / him?" So the real sentence is, "Whom did you go with?" You could also say/write, "With whom did you go?" From The UVic Writer's Guide: Grammar
From Common grammar mistakes
Sometimes a verb will also take an indirect object
, which can be replaced by "to" and a prepositional phrase. Once again the objective case
of the appropriate pronoun will be in order. Thus
21a I gave her the ball
21b I gave the ball to her
21c Whom did you give the ball?
21d Whom did you give the ball to?
21e To whom did you give the ball?
(You have probably heard that you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition, as in 21d, but this is a stylistic question not a grammatical one.)
Who or Whom From § 78. who. 1. Grammar. The American Heritage Book of English Usage. 1996
And finally there is the dilemma of whether to say who or whom as in these situations--Who/whom was at the door? or Who/whom did you give the money to?
The good news is this. Speakers at all academic and social levels tend to either ignore or be confused by the distinction between who and whom, generally choosing "who" and letting it go at that. A result of this is that in situations where "whom" is the correct form, choosing the correct form again may again actually sound somewhat stilted. The bottom line for most social situations is go with "who" as chances are your listener won't know the difference either.
However, if one chooses to be fastidious, it works like this. Because "who" and "whom" are pronouns, they have case as determined by function in a particular sentence. Thus, getting back to the examples above. "Who" was at the door is correct because "who" is the subject of the sentence and "who" is a subject-case pronoun. On the other hand, in the second example--"whom" did you give the money to is technically correct because the pronoun "whom" is the object of the preposition to and "whom" is an objective-case pronoun. Especially sharp readers will note the second example leaves a hanging preposition which is also often considered a grammatical faux pas. So if we want the second example to be grammatically perfect we would say: "To whom did you give the money"
In speech and informal writing, people tend to use who, even as the object of a verb or preposition. A sentence such as Who did John say he was going to support? is perfectly natural, despite violating the traditional rules. Using whom often sounds forced or pretentiously correct, as in Whom shall I say is calling? or Whom did you give it to? Nevertheless, many writers adhere to the rules, especially in formal style. From Lynch, Guide to Grammar and Style — W
While it's possible to memorize a rule for distinguishing who
, it's easier to trust your ear. A simple test to see which is proper is to replace who/whom
. If he
sounds right, use who
; if him
is right, use whom
. For example: since he did it
and not him did it
, use who did it
; since we give something to him
and not to he
, use to whom
. It gets messy only when the preposition
is separated from the who
: Who/whom did you give it to?
Rearrange the words in your head ...