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    #1

    please, grade this composition.

    "The alarm clock rang early morning today. I woke up dizzy, thinking it was Saturday and switched the alarm off. Around 9:20 a.m. I was awaken by a noise in the apartment. It was lady Adalgisa, the maid, who had already arrived and was sweeping the floor. Only then I realized that today was Friday, not Saturday, and I had to go to work. I wonder what kind of dream I had last night that caused such confusion in my mind.
    I hurriedly took a bath, shaved and rushed to work, arriving there almost at 10 a.m."



    please, is this composition ok?
    thanks.

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    #2

    Re: please, grade this composition.

    "The alarm clock rang early morning today(this morning). I woke up (feeling) dizzy, thinking it was Saturday and switched the alarm off. Around 9:20 a.m. I was awaken by a noise in the apartment. It was lady Adalgisa, the maid, who had already arrived and was sweeping the floor. Only then I realized that today(it) was Friday, not Saturday, and I had to go to work. I wonder what kind of dream I had last night that caused such confusion in my mind.
    I hurriedly took a bath, shaved and rushed to work, arriving there almost at 10 a.m."

    I would grade it 8/10 but I'm not a teacher.

  1. Soup's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: please, grade this composition.

    The alarm clock rang early morning today. I woke up dizzy, thinking it was Saturday and switched the alarm off. Around 9:20 a.m. I was awaken by a noise in the apartment. It was lady Adalgisa, the maid, who had already arrived and was sweeping the floor. Only then I realized that today was Friday, not Saturday, and I had to go to work. I wonder what kind of dream I had last night that caused such confusion in my mind.

    I hurriedly took a bath, shaved and rushed to work, arriving there almost at 10 a.m."
    7/10

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    #4

    Re: please, grade this composition.

    Quote Originally Posted by Soup View Post
    The alarm clock rang early morning today. I woke up dizzy, thinking it was Saturday and switched the alarm off. Around 9:20 a.m. I was awaken by a noise in the apartment. It was lady Adalgisa, the maid, who had already arrived and was sweeping the floor. Only then I realized that today was Friday, not Saturday, and I had to go to work. I wonder what kind of dream I had last night that caused such confusion in my mind.

    I hurriedly took a bath, shaved and rushed to work, arriving there almost at 10 a.m."
    7/10
    hello Soup!
    do you mean that the text in red isn't good?
    thanks!

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    #5

    Re: please, grade this composition.

    Quote Originally Posted by tedtmc View Post
    "The alarm clock rang early morning today(this morning). I woke up (feeling) dizzy, thinking it was Saturday and switched the alarm off. Around 9:20 a.m. I was awaken by a noise in the apartment. It was lady Adalgisa, the maid, who had already arrived and was sweeping the floor. Only then I realized that today(it) was Friday, not Saturday, and I had to go to work. I wonder what kind of dream I had last night that caused such confusion in my mind.
    I hurriedly took a bath, shaved and rushed to work, arriving there almost at 10 a.m."

    I would grade it 8/10 but I'm not a teacher.
    Thanks!
    do you suggest "The alarm clock rang early this morning"?
    Thanks again!

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    #6

    Re: please, grade this composition.

    Quote Originally Posted by jctgf View Post
    hello Soup!
    do you mean that the text in red isn't good?
    thanks!
    Yes. It needs more work.

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    #7

    Re: please, grade this composition.

    Thanks.
    Could you please suggest something? How would you write that and keep it informal, please?
    Please note that my goal is just to speak a nice English. I am not willing to become a literate.
    Thanks again.

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    #8

    Re: please, grade this composition.

    Quote Originally Posted by jctgf View Post
    Thanks.
    Could you please suggest something? How would you write that and keep it informal, please?
    Please note that my goal is just to speak a nice English. I am not willing to become a literate.
    Thanks again.
    The alarm clock went offearly this morning. I woke up dizzy, thinking it was Saturday and switched the alarm off. Around 9:20 a.m. a noise somewhere in the apartment woke me up. It was lady Adalgisa, the maid, who had already arrived and was sweeping the floor. Only then had I realized that today was Friday--not Saturday--and I had to go to work. I wondered what kind of dream I had last night that had me so dazed.

    I quickly bathed, shaved, and then rushed to work, arriving at almost 10 a.m.

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    #9

    Re: please, grade this composition.

    Quote Originally Posted by Soup View Post
    The alarm clock went offearly this morning. I woke up dizzy, thinking it was Saturday and switched the alarm off. Around 9:20 a.m. a noise somewhere in the apartment woke me up. It was lady Adalgisa, the maid, who had already arrived and was sweeping the floor. Only then had I realized that today was Friday--not Saturday--and I had to go to work. I wondered what kind of dream I had last night that had me so dazed.

    I quickly bathed, shaved, and then rushed to work, arriving at almost 10 a.m.
    Thanks a lot!
    I thought that "to bath" was a British thing.
    Thanks again.

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    #10

    Re: please, grade this composition.

    Quote Originally Posted by jctgf View Post
    Thanks a lot!
    I thought that "to bath" was a British thing.
    Thanks again.
    Here's something interesting. It's from LISTSERV 14.4
    A 75-year-old Englishman in one of my classes corrected me vehemently when I pronounced the sentence "Mother bathed the baby" as if they verb were 'bathe' rather than 'bath'. He insisted that you 'bathe' in the sea, but you 'bath' in a tub, and he made out to be telling me (the American) how to pronounce the language 'correctly'. He turned to his 21-year-old classmates for support, and most looked at him like he was crazy--they say
    'bathe'.

    A few months later, my 70-something aunt (originally from western NY, but a 50-year resident of Indiana) was over for a visit, and she told a story in which my grandmother 'bathed the baby'--pronounced like 'bath'.

    So, this suggested to me that the difference might be not so much regional/dialectal as it generational.

    However, dictionaries do treat this as a dialectal US/UK difference. AHD4 has no verb entry for 'bath'. MW9 treats it as "British". NODE (UK) gives have-a-bath senses (note: Brits have a bath/shower/walk, rather than _taking_ one) of both 'bath' and 'bathe', and treats the 'bathe
    in the sea' sense as 'chiefly British'.

    Read responses here http://listserv.linguistlist.org/cgi

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