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  1. new2grammar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Punjabi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 880
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    #1

    Please help me out with this

    A lifetime of moments where even the wind and the sun, the stars and the sky, are humbly awaiting your command. For a family used to royal treatment and luxurious living. Picture perfect, an enchanting fairy story ready and waiting to be experienced and cherished for a lifetime.

    Is the above para grammatically correct, any changes needed to make it more sophisticated


    • Join Date: Jun 2008
    • Posts: 4
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    #2

    Re: Please help me out with this

    Quote Originally Posted by new2grammar View Post
    A lifetime of moments where even the wind and the sun, the stars and the sky, are humbly awaiting your command. For a family used to royal treatment and luxurious living. Picture perfect, an enchanting fairy story ready and waiting to be experienced and cherished for a lifetime.
    The second sentence- "For a family used to royal treatment and luxurious living" isn't a sentence- it's a fragment. Imagine just saying that sentence to someone, it cannot stand alone. If you drop "for" it is a sentence, but I'm unsure of your intention.

    Native English speakers would not say "fairy story" they would say "fairy tale." I'm unsure of the context of the above paragraph, but I don't see any other errors.

    Captal

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