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  1. Unregistered
    Guest
    #1

    Anything wrong with this sentences

    Can you tell me what's wrong with these sentences and which one is the best?

    Your faxed documents to support your request for expeditious processing of the above petition was received and your request is now under review.

    Your faxed documents to support your request for expeditious processing of the above petition were received and it's now under review.

    Your faxed documents have been received. Your request is now under review.

    Your faxed documents were received on June 20 2008. Your expedite request of the above petition is now under review.

    Thanks


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #2

    Re: Anything wrong with this sentences

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Can you tell me what's wrong with these sentences and which one is the best?

    Your faxed documents to support your request for expeditious processing of the above petition was received and your request is now under review.

    Your faxed documents to support your request for expeditious processing of the above petition were received and it's now under review.

    Your faxed documents have been received. Your request is now under review.

    Your faxed documents were received on June 20 2008. Your expedite request of the above petition is now under review.

    Thanks
    #1 and #2 are too wordy and lack clarity.
    #3 is clear and direct.
    #4 is ok, but could do with changes in sentence 2: Your request that the petition be expedited is now under review.

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