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    #1

    Where did I fall in grammar this time?

    Hi,

    Are there any grammar, punctuation, or any other sorts of mistakes in the following passage?


    I had just come back from playing outside, that my mom told me we were going to a wedding ceremony. It was one of my cousin's wedding. I didn't at all feel like going anywhere. My whole body was a total wreck, and the hot temperature had really sapped my strength. Quiet honestly, I was too tired to do anything or go anywhere. I just wanted to knock myself to sleep, but my mom told she couldn't leave me home alone, because my granny was also going. So willy-nilly, I had to agree to go with. My mom pressed me the clothes and told me to shower.

    The wedding was at XYZ lawn. It was quite a prosperous marriage lawn and was very well-decorated. There were lots of popcorn sellers and balloon men standing outside the lawn. People seemed to have spent hours on gussying up and looking good. But nothing seemed to be captivating me. While I was rolling my eyes looking for someone or something interesting, I suddenly glanced at a familiar face among the crowd. Oh, it was my very best cousin plus friend, Spencer. I was very happy and kind of charged to see him.

    I had a lot of fun with him. Then it was dinner time. The food was very good. A few minutes after the dinner, my dad told me we were going home. By the time we got back, it was 1 o'clock in the night. I instantly changed my clothes and rushed toward my dear bed.

    Awaiting your kindness,

    Mr. Nutty

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    #2

    Exclamation Re: Where did I fall in grammar this time?

    Excepting for a minor correction and two deletions (highlighted in brackets)the paragraph is fine.
    I had just come back from playing outside, that my mom told me we were going to a wedding ceremony. It was one of my cousin's wedding. I didn't at all feel like going anywhere. My whole body was a total wreck, and the hot temperature had really sapped my strength. Quiet honestly, I was too tired to do anything or go anywhere. I just wanted to knock myself to sleep, but my mom told she couldn't leave me home alone, because my granny was also going. So willy-nilly, I had to agree to go with. My mom pressed for me the clothes and told me to shower.

    The wedding was at XYZ lawn. It was quite a prosperous marriage lawn and was very well-decorated. There were lots of popcorn sellers and balloon men standing outside the lawn. People seemed to have spent hours on gussying (up) and looking good. But nothing seemed to be captivating me. While I was rolling my eyes looking for someone or something interesting, I suddenly glanced at a familiar face among the crowd. Oh, it was my very best cousin plus friend, Spencer. I was very happy and (kind of) charged to see him.

    I had a lot of fun with him. Then it was dinner time. The food was very good. A few minutes after the dinner, my dad told me we were going home. By the time we got back, it was 1 o'clock in the night. I instantly changed my clothes and rushed toward my dear bed.

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    #3

    Re: Where did I fall in grammar this time?

    Replies from any natives?

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    #4

    Re: Where did I fall in grammar this time?

    It was one of my cousin's wedding. cousins'

    but my mom told me she couldn't leave me

    I had to agree to go with them.

    My mom pressed for me the clothes and told me to take my shower
    Manas, I think the 'for' shouldn't be there. And I am not sure about the use of the word 'pressed'. passed me the clothes?

    prosperous marriage lawn spacious?

    I suddenly glanced at a familiar face caught sight of?

    I was very happy and charged to see him. elated?

    not a teacher

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    #5

    Exclamation Re: Where did I fall in grammar this time?

    [quote=tedtmc;326516]It was one of my cousin's wedding. cousins'

    My mom pressed for me the clothes and told me to take my shower
    Manas, I think the 'for' shouldn't be there. And I am not sure about the use of the word 'pressed'. passed me the clothes?

    I think by using "pressed' Mister Nutty implies 'clothes' duely pressed by an iron by his mother.

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    #6

    Re: Where did I fall in grammar this time?

    Thank you for your helpful replies, Manas and Tedtmc. I really appreciate your interest in helping me.

    Will some native speakers also have a look at the passage?

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    #7

    Re: Where did I fall in grammar this time?

    hello,
    I'm sorry I'm neither a native nor a teacher,
    But...

    press sth on sb (GIVE) phrasal verb
    to give something to someone and not allow them to refuse to accept it.

    My mom pressed the clothes on me and told me to take shower.

    Cheers,

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    #8

    Re: Where did I fall in grammar this time?

    Hello,

    I amended the writing to that I'd write.
    Perhabs some of corrections are not important.
    Treat it just as sugestions.
    I had just come back from playing outside, that my mom told me we were going to a wedding ceremony. It was one of my cousin's wedding .
    I just come in, after I had played outside, when my mum said we were going to a wedding.


    Wedding is a ceremony
    mom US spelling
    mum BrEng spelling

    It was one of my cousins' wedding. ( one of many [prular] )
    or : It was my cousin's wedding.
    I didn't at all feel like going anywhere. My whole body was a total wreck, and the hot temperature had really sapped my strength.
    I didn't feel like going anywhere at all. My whole body was totaly wrecked, and the hot wether / high temperature had really sapped my strength / sapped me.
    Quiet honestly, I was too tired to do anything or go anywhere. I just wanted to knock myself to sleep, but my mom told she couldn't leave me home alone, because my granny was also going. So willy-nilly, I had to agree to go with. My mom pressed for me the clothes and told me to shower.
    Quiet honestly, I was too tired to do anything or to go anywhere. I just wanted to get myself sleep, but my mum told me she couldn't leave me at home alone, because my granny was also going. So willy-nilly, I had to agree on going. My mom pressed the clothes on me and told me to take shower.
    The wedding was at XYZ lawn. It was quite a prosperous marriage lawn and was very well-decorated. There were lots of popcorn sellers and balloon men standing outside the lawn. People seemed to have spent hours on gussying (up) and looking good. But nothing seemed to be captivating me. While I was rolling my eyes looking for someone or something interesting, I suddenly glanced at a familiar face among the crowd Oh, it was my very best cousin plus friend, Spencer. I was very happy and kind of charged to see him.
    The wedding was at XYZ lawn. It was quite a prosperous marriage lawn and was very well-decorated. There were lots of popcorn sellers and balloon men standing outside the lawn. People seemed to have spent hours on beautification. But nothing (seemed to be - avoid repeating yourself ) captivated me.

    While I was looking for someone or something interesting, I suddenly come across a familiar face among the crowd. Oh, it was my very best cousin and his friend, Spencer. I was very happy and seeing him charged my battery.

    ( rolling my eyes - I'm not sure if we can use it for that meaning )
    roll your eyes
    to move your eyes upwards as a way of showing that you are annoyed or bored after someone has done or said something
    gussing up - I'm unfamiliar with it

    I had a lot of fun with him. Then it was dinner time. The food was very good. A few minutes after the dinner, my dad told me we were going home. By the time we got back, it was 1 o'clock in the night. I instantly changed my clothes and rushed toward my dear bed.
    I had a lot of fun with him / ? them ?. Then it was dinner time. The food was very good / delicious. A few minutes after the dinner my dad told me / said we were going home. By the time we got back, it was 1 o'clock at night. I instantly changed my clothes and rushed toward my dear bed.

    Cheers,
    Last edited by Jaskin; 27-Jul-2008 at 18:58.

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    #9

    Re: Where did I fall in grammar this time?

    press sth on sb (GIVE) phrasal verb
    to give something to someone and not allow them to refuse to accept it.

    My mom pressed the clothes on me and told me to take shower.
    That's spot-on, Jaskin.

    What do you think of the 'prosperous marriage lawn' part?
    Is there such a thing as a marriage lawn?

    ( rolling my eyes - I'm not sure if we can use it for that meaning )
    roll your eyes
    to move your eyes upwards as a way of showing that you are annoyed or bored after someone has done or said something
    gussing up - I'm unfamiliar with it
    I think she meant to 'look in all directions'(is there a nice word for it?). You can't just 'roll you eyes' to do that.

    gussying up - to make yourself look attractive

    not a teacher

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