This beautiful mall is just five minutes away from my house. It's situated in the hub of North Nazimabad. I went there with my dad to buy some winter
stuff. You are writing in a semi-formal style. NEVER EVER use this word in this way except in casual conversation; and then because it's a handy cover-all word per se, rather than betraying an inability to articulate connected thought:
How was the party? What did you do?
"Ah-er ... we drank beer and stuff."
say, 'clothes for winter' or 'winter sporting equipment' or something more specific than 'stuff'.
To our surprise, there were not many people there -
maybe : there is a difference between 'may be', which is quite appropriate in semi- and formal writing; and 'maybe' which is rather a casual way of saying 'perhaps'. Your writing deserves the use of 'perhaps'!
perhaps because we had gone on a working day.
The moment we stepped into the huge mall, we were greeted by a blast of cool air and the
blare of music from a shop nearby.
The ground floor was bright and lively.
There were many good names, like Amir Adnan (that was right on the front), Levi's, Sputnik, EBH, Dockers, etc. : There is a jump between the the previous sentence referring to the 'ground floor' and suddenly, 'good names'. You should perhaps bridge this with "The shops there carried many good names...
Also, try to avoid the use of 'etc.' People know the 'good names' and so 'etc' makes them none the wiser as to which specific named brands were being sold. You have introduced the list with 'like', which means you are going to give a few examples, and then give four. That's quite sufficient. So:
The shops there carried many good names, like Amir Adnan (that was right at the front), Levi's, Sputnik, EBH, and Dockers.
Note the use of the comma after EBH. Compare: "...many kinds of fruit, like cherries, pears, plums, apples and oranges." This makes it quite clear that they are two separate brand names. Compare: EBH, Abercrombie and Finch.
Abercrombie and Finch is a brand name. So "...EBH and Dockers." might be mistaken as referring to ONE brand name. Hence, the comma makes it clear they are separate names.
I could also see a cute : even if it could in some way be described as 'cute', as in ' a girl with a cute little bow in her hair', the use of the word is still a little 'American female giggly teenager'. Why was it 'cute'? Was it 'colourful'?
What was it about the decor that made it look 'cute'?
little ice cream parlor that was opposite us.
After browsing through the ground floor, we moved on/up to the other floors, with even more brand name shops.
I bought two cool tees :'cool' is slang. I think you have to decide whether this is written as a semi-formal essay/review, or as a colloquial piece of writing as in a letter to a friend.
and a pair of jeans from the Signature outlet,
while my day : I don't know what you mean here. Is it, ...while my dad bought just..."
just a formal shirt from the newly introduced brand, 'Blue'.
I really had a blast : slang. What's it to be???
there, and I bet : slangish
it will soon be one the top choices for all shopping addicts,
God willing!: Why? Do you have shares in the Mall? You are praying that God will ensure this becomes a top choice for shoppers. Does that warrant calling on the Almighty's assistance? I would stop after 'addicts' and omit "God willing". (If you mean, you had such a blast you hope this Mall thrives so you can continue to shop there, and so you hope it thrives - God willing! - you would need to rephrase those sentences.
Student or Learner