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      • Native Language:
      • Italian
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      • Italy
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      • Italy

    • Join Date: Aug 2006
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    #1

    Could you please correct this dialogue for me?

    Hi everybody. I’d like to have this dialogue corrected. So, if you (native speakers of course) found out any sort of mistakes here, please correct them, explaining why they’d be wrong and suggesting every changing you’d like to write instead of what I’ve written. I’d be very glad if you could suggest me some phrasal verbs that I could use in this piece of dialogue, of course if you think they might be right.
    As I said before, this is a dialogue between two guys. They’re meeting for the first time. They have known to each other through Internet and have kept on staying in touch through a chat-room by exchanging their email addresses. Daniel is from Australia and he’s 21, and Mark is from the south of Italy and he’s 24. Daniel is visiting Sicily, which is the place where Mark lives.
    They meet in front of the bowling alley.

    D: Hi

    M: Hi Daniel, finally we can meet, I’m Mark, or Marc83 if you prefer…J

    D: Mark it’s much better…Nice to meet ya.

    M: Have you been waiting here for long?

    D: Not so long, I just arrived here a few minutes ago.

    M: Well I ran into a terrible traffic and I got blocked up in it.

    D: Never mind, you’re here now.

    M: Ok, what do you want to do?

    D: Well, I can’t stay here long, because I had to come over here with my cousins and they want me to play bowling with them. I’m really sorry, but I can stay here just a little while.

    M: Oh, it’s a pity, I would have liked to show you the city, since you’ve never seen it.

    D: I know but we’ll can meet another time, and I’m gonna come without baggage…I promise

    M: Baggage?

    D: Yeah, My cousins, that don’t know anything about me and about you too.

    M: Ok… so what about you? Tell me something about you…

    D: Well I told you lots of think in chat…what else? I forgot to tell where I come from exactly… I’m from Brisbane.

    M: Brisbane? Never heard of it.

    D: Yeah, everyone knows just Sydney and Melbourne in Australia, but Brisbane is above Sydney…it’s located eastward and it’s about 900 kilometers away from Sydney, in the north.

    M: I got you. And How come are you here alone without your family, without your parents?

    D: Well, I live in Australia with my mother, and my father lives in Ireland…I was there and dropped in on his house trying to create a dialogue with him, since I had never met him since when I was born but things seemed not to work at all, and I decided to come here, in Sicily, where I’ve got the rest of the family. I wanna stay here for a month o something like that.

    M: That sounds good. And do you like here? Do you think you’d like to live here?

    D: Well I like it but I don’t think I’d live here because, I don’t exactly know…well I spent years and years in Australia and now I feel that’s my house…I like here, but I’d stay here just on vacation.

    M: I know a friend of mine who was born in here, but then he moved to Melbourne where he’s got a brother… and he often goes there, he usually stays there a few months and then come back home here because his mother lives here.

    D: Ok, And how bout you? What do you do for a living?

    M: Nothing…J well I just graduated last summer and now I’m looking for a job…but it’s really hard to find it…

    D: I hope you can find one soon.

    M: Yes, let’s hope!!

    D: Well, you had said to me that you’re gonna leave…where are you going?

    M: Yes, I’m going to spend some days out of town. I’m going near Florence, in Versilia and then I have got to go to Turin, near Milan to see some friends of mine that live there.

    D: I got ya, I guess you’ll enjoy yourself.

    M: And when I come back we’ll be able to meet again.

    D: Absolutely…I’m seeing that you have been getting a tan…your skin is becoming darker and it’s “falling down”…..(HOW CAN I SAY WHEN SOMEONE IS LOOSING HIS SKIN BECAUSE OF HIS SUNTAN??)

    M: Yeah I’ve been to the seaside and got burned yesterday!

    D: Ok… Now I got to go inside, because my cousins are waiting for me to go in in order to start playing.

    M: Oh can’t you ditch them?

    D: I can’t get rid of them because they’re being very kind with me and I got to stay with them this time.

    M: All right, so it has been a pleasure. Let’s stay in touch.

    D: Right. Now I really better get going…Have a nice coming back home.

    M: Thank you, and try to win by playing bowling with the others.

    D: I will!! Of course I will.

    M: Bye Daniel.

    D: Bye Mark.


    • Join Date: Aug 2008
    • Posts: 135
    #2

    Re: Could you please correct this dialogue for me?

    D: Hi

    M: Hi Daniel, finally we can meet, I’m Mark, or Marc83 if you prefer…J

    D: Mark is much better…Nice to meet ya.

    M: Have you been waiting here for so long?

    D: No,Not for so long, I have just arrived here few minutes ago.

    M: Sorry for being late, the traffic was terrible and i was stuck in the street.

    D: Never mind, you’re here now.

    M: Ok, what do you want to do?

    D: Well, I can’t stay here for a long time , because I have to go to play bowling with my cousins . I’m really sorry, but I can stay here just for a little while.

    M: Oh, it’s a pity, I wanted to show you the city, since you’ve never seen it.

    D: I know but we can meet another time, and i'll come without luggage…I promise

    M: luggage?

    D: Yeah, My cousins don’t know anything about me and about you too.

    M: Ok… so what about you? Tell me something about you…

    D: Well I told you lots of things in the chat…what else? I forgot to tell you where I exactly come from … I’m from Brisbane.

    M: Brisbane? Never heard of it.

    D: Yeah, everyone knows just Sydney and Melbourne in Australia, but Brisbane is above Sydney…it’s located eastward and it’s about 900 kilometers away from Sydney, in the north.

    M: I got you. And How come you are here alone without your family, without your parents?

    D: Well, I live in Australia with my mother, and my father lives in Ireland…I was there and visited his house in an attempt to talk to him, because I have never met him since I was born but things seemed not to work at all between us, and I decided to come here, in Sicily, where the rest of the family reside . I wanna stay here for a month or something like that.

    M: That sounds good. And do you like this country? Do you think you’d like to live here?

    D: Well I like it but I don’t think I’d live here because i spent my whole life in Australia so it's hard for me to live somewhere else but i can come here to enjoy my vacation

    M:My friend, who was born in here, moved to Melbourne to his brother… He stayed there for a while but couldn't carry on living there because his mother is living in Sicily.

    D: Ok, And how about you? What do you in your life?

    M: I have just graduated last summer and now I’m looking for a job…but it’s really hard to find one.

    D: I hope you 'll find a suitable one soon.

    M: Yes, let’s hope!!

    D: Well, you have said that you’re gonna leave…where will you go?

    M: I’m going to spend some days out of town. i'll visit Florence, in Versilia and then I will go to Turin, near Milan to see some friends of mine who live there.

    D: I hope you'll enjoy your time

    M: And when I come back we’ll be able to meet again.

    D: Absolutely…i see that you have a golden tan…your skin is brown i guess you have been sunbathing no?

    M: Yeah i went to the beach yesterday and enjoyed the burning sun

    D: Ok… Now I have to get back inside, because my cousins are waiting for me to play together.

    M: Oh can’t you ditch them?

    D: I can’t get rid of them because they’re so kind to me

    M: All right, it was a pleasure meeting you. i hope that we'll keep in touch.

    D:I hope so . Now I really have to go…Have a nice journey

    M: Thank you, and try to beat your cousins in the bowling

    D: I 'll try,i'll do my best

    M: Bye Daniel.

    D: Bye Mark.


  1. Soup's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Could you please correct this dialogue for me?

    M: Hi Daniel. Finally, we meet. I'm Mark, or Marc83 if you prefer.

    D: Mark is much better. Nice to finally meet face to face / It's nice to put a face to a name.

    M: Have you been waiting here long?

    D: Not that long. I arrived a few minutes ago. / I just arrived.

    M: I was stuck in traffic. It was terrible.

    D: No worries. You're here now.

    M: OK, so what do you want to do?

    D: Well, I don't have that much time, sorry. I'm with my cousins and we're going bowling later, but I can stay a little while.

    M: Oh, what a pity. I would have liked to have show you the city, since you've never seen it.

    D: I know, but we can meet another time, and next time I promise not to come with baggage.

    M: Baggage?

    D: Yeah, my cousins. They don't know anything about me and you.

    M: OK ... So, what about you? Tell me something about yourself.

    D: Well, I told you lots I think in chat. What else would you like to know? I forgot to tell you where I come from exactly. I'm from Brisbane.

    M: Brisbane? Never heard of it.

    D: Yeah, everyone knows Sydney and Melbourne. Brisbane is northeast of Sydney, about 900 kilometers away.

    M: I got you. And How come you're here alone, without your family, without your parents?

    D: Well, I live in Australia with my mother; my father lives in Ireland. I was there visiting him just recently, but I hadn't seen him since I was a baby and things just didn't seem to work out at all, and I so I decided to come here, to Sicily, where the rest of the family lives. I'm planning on staying here for a month or so.

    M: That sounds good. And do you like it here? Do you think you'd like to live here?

    D: Well, I like it, but I don't think I'd live here, because ... I don't exactly know why. I've spent years and years in Australia and now feel that it's my home. I like it here, but I'd stay here just on vacation.

    M: A friend of mine was born here, but often goes to Melbourne, which is where his brother lives, and usually stays only for a few months because his mother lives here.

    D: I've got a question for you. What do you do for a living?

    M: Nothing. I graduated last summer and am now looking for a job, and it hasn't been that easy to find work.

    D: I hope you can find a good job soon.

    M: Yes, let's hope!

    D: Well, you had said that you're gonna leave. Where are you going?

    M: Right. I'm going to spend a few days out of town. I'm going near Florence, in Versilia, and then I've got to go to Turin, near Milan, to see some friends of mine that live there.

    D: I hear ya. It sounds as if you're really going to enjoy yourself.

    M: And when I come back we'll be able to meet up again.

    D: Absolutely, and I see that you've been getting some sun. Your skin is tanned. Maybe too much sun, though, as you're starting to peel.

    M: Yeah. I went to the seaside yesterday and got burned!

    D: OK. I've got to go inside now because my cousins are waiting for me to go bowling.

    M: Oh, can't you ditch them?

    D: I can't get rid of them, because they're being very kind to me and so I have got to stay with them this time.

    M: All right. It's been a pleasure. Let's stay in touch.

    D: Right. Now I really better get going. Have a nice trip back home.

    M: Thank you, and have a good game.

    D: I will! Of course I will.

    M: Bye, Daniel.

    D: Bye, Mark.

    • Member Info
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    #4

    Re: Could you please correct this dialogue for me?

    Thank you very much for your corrections but, what are the differences between the first corrected dialogue and the second corrected one? I think that the second one is more similiar to mine, is it right? The first one is your intrepretation you wanted to give to the dialogue...


    • Join Date: Aug 2008
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    #5

    Re: Could you please correct this dialogue for me?

    both dialogues are ok you have to choose the better one according to you

  2. Soup's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Could you please correct this dialogue for me?

    Quote Originally Posted by dilodi83 View Post
    Thank you very much for your corrections but, what are the differences between the first corrected dialogue and the second corrected one?
    Well, possibly dialect differences for one. I'm a North American speaker of English. As for corrections and suggestions, I changed whatever sounded odd or out of place to me. By the way, the beauty of this site is that you get more than one opinion about how to use English. Take advantage of it. Go through each post and determine which corrections/suggestions sound best to you. After all, this is your dialogue, your words. We're here just to guide you along.

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