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    • Join Date: Jul 2008
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    #1

    How can I make these sentences simpler?

    Dear Teacher,

    How can I make these sentences simpler? Are these correct?

    "The aims of music education are to transmit the general literacy, to endear the different types of music and form the students' taste in music.

    Piano teaching first started in our school under the supervision of the following teachers Mr. Csaba Bányai, Miss Mónika Baja, Mr. István Pozor, Mrs. Árpád Szőlősi, Mr. Zoltán Barkóczi and continues with those teachers who still teach the childern: Mrs. Tamás dr. Irinyi, Mrs. Gabriella Magyar, Miss Judit Dancs.

    The flute course started long time ago under the supervision of Ildikó Sas Mrs. Sándor. Now Miss Zsuzsa Nagy is the supervisor.

    Several courses started within the music education in the 2000/2001 school-year. The violin teaching began to run by Anna Tóth Mrs. Kádár. Now Lili Radovics leads this course.

    Last year the zither course began under the supervision of Ágnes Magyari and Ildikó Csigei. Now Zoltán Menyhárt teaches the children.

    The flute course began under the supervision of Noémi Balda, now Mariann Kovács Mrs. Molnár is the supervisor.

    The brass course is the yongest, it has run for 2 years. The members develop self-discipline, can have soul growth and artistic development. This course first was supervised by Péter Győrfi. Now Lajos Alexa is the supervisor.

    The aim of the solfeggio is to increase the ability of mastering musical thinking. More teacher supervise this course beside their main musical area but Irén Szatmáry and Mrs Pál Koncz dealt with this only. At present this course is under the supervision of Zsófia Hőgye.

    Many times the choir of our school makes our celebrations and programs colorful. The choir began with the leading of Anna Tóth Mrs. Kádár and Éva Kiss. Now the choirmaster is Zsófia Hőgye who lifts people spirit up by the musically and socially experiece of the common singing. "

    Thanks in advance,
    rafael

  1. RonBee's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: How can I make these sentences simpler?

    Quote Originally Posted by rafaelxx View Post
    "The aims of music education are to transmit the general literacy, to endear the different types of music and form the students' taste in music.
    It says something about the aims of music education, but I don't know what.

  2. RonBee's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: How can I make these sentences simpler?

    Quote Originally Posted by rafaelxx View Post
    Piano teaching first started in our school under the supervision of the following teachers Mr. Csaba Bányai, Miss Mónika Baja, Mr. István Pozor, Mrs. Árpád Szőlősi, Mr. Zoltán Barkóczi and continues with those teachers who still teach the childern: Mrs. Tamás dr. Irinyi, Mrs. Gabriella Magyar, Miss Judit Dancs.
    Piano teaching started in our school with the following teachers: Mr. Csaba Bányai, Miss Mónika Baja, Mr. István Pozor, Mrs. Árpád Szőlősi, and Mr. Zoltán Barkóczi. The current teachers are: Mrs. Tamás dr. Irinyi, Mrs. Gabriella Magyar, and Miss Judit Dancs.


    • Join Date: Aug 2008
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    #4

    Re: How can I make these sentences simpler?

    Quote Originally Posted by rafaelxx View Post
    Dear Teacher,

    How can I make these sentences simpler? Are these correct?

    "The aim of music education is to teach musical literacy, help the students appreciate different types of music, and to develop their musical tastes.

    The flute course, which has been running for a long time, began under the supervision of Ildikó Sas Mrs. Sándor. Miss Zsuzsa Nagy is now the current supervisor.

    Several courses were launched within the music education programme of 2000/2001. The violin teaching was originally run by Anna Tóth Mrs. Kádár. Now Lili Radovics leads the course.

    Last year the zither course began under the supervision of Ágnes Magyari and Ildikó Csigei. Now Zoltán Menyhárt teaches the children.

    The flute course began under the supervision of Noémi Balda. Now Mariann Kovács Mrs. Molnár is the supervisor.

    The brass course is the most recent, having run for only 2 years. The members develop self-discipline and can also experience soul growth and artistic development. This course was first supervised by Péter Győrfi. Lajos Alexa is now the current supervisor.

    The aim of the solfeggio is to increase ability and capacity for musical thinking. The two main supervisors for this course were originally Irén Szatmáry and Mrs Pál Koncz. However, at present it is under the supervision of Zsófia Hőgye.

    On many occassions
    our school choir has made our celebrations and programs especially colorful. In the beginning the choir was led by Anna Tóth Mrs. Kádár and Éva Kiss. Now the choirmaster is Zsófia Hőgye who, along with all the choir members, help to lift our spirits with their beautiful singing.
    .
    Last edited by monty mike; 09-Aug-2008 at 23:21.

  3. RonBee's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: How can I make these sentences simpler?

    The choir was led....



    • Join Date: Aug 2008
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    #6

    Re: How can I make these sentences simpler?

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    The choir was led....

    Fixed it. Thanks.

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