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    • Join Date: Aug 2008
    • Posts: 33
    #1

    please help me to correct this letter professionaly

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am one of your customer of your supermarket. I am writing to complain about a minor accident in the supermarket.


    My first day at your supermarket was an awful one. Last Monday at 10 A.M I came there for shopping. At that time the super market was partly crowded, so that was not good time for washing the floor specially with water and slippery substance, therefore everybody was gotten peeved for that as well.

    Unfortunately, when I was shopping, accidentally I slipped on the wet floor, and what is worse, I broken my leg. I must complain about carelessly your worker.

    In addition, Id like to suggest that your worker can do it when the shop is closed, or if they missed that time, they should dry the floor as soon as they washed.

    Finally, I trust these suggestion have been useful.


    Please give this matter your immediate attention.



    Yours faithfully


    Habibi


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #2

    Re: please help me to correct this letter professionaly

    Quote Originally Posted by rezashena View Post
    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am one of your a customer of your supermarket. I am writing to complain about a minor accident that happened/occurred in the supermarket.


    My first day at your supermarket was an awful one. [omit] Last Monday at 10 a.m I came there for to do some shopping. At that time the super market was partly crowded, so that it was not a good time for washing the floor specially with water and slippery substance, therefore everybody was gotten peeved for that as well. which was made very slippery. As a result Unfortunately, when I was shopping, accidentally [omit] I slipped on the wet floor and, what is worse, I broke my leg. I must complain about carelessly your worker.[omit]
    In addition, Id like to suggest I suggest that your cleaners should do this work when the shop is closed, or that they should dry the floor as soon as they have washed it.

    I trust these suggestions have been useful.

    Please give this matter your immediate attention.



    Yours faithfully


    Habibi
    ..


    • Join Date: Aug 2008
    • Posts: 33
    #3

    Re: please help me to correct this letter professionaly

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    ..
    I have one question, dear Angelika when I omited some sentenses then this letter becomes very short? isnt it? if it is short what can I do? pleaze help me to make new sentenses? I want to IELTS 5-6 mounths later
    Last edited by rezashena; 13-Aug-2008 at 17:30.


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #4

    Re: please help me to correct this letter professionaly

    What was the brief for this assignment?

    You could make more of the effect on your life of breaking your leg - can't go shopping, can't walk anywhere, need to have someone do things for you.


    • Join Date: Aug 2008
    • Posts: 33
    #5

    Re: please help me to correct this letter professionaly

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    What was the brief for this assignment?

    You could make more of the effect on your life of breaking your leg - can't go shopping, can't walk anywhere, need to have someone do things for you.
    1-thaks a lot, but can you add sentenses in the letter for me pleaze to compleate the letter
    2-how I can buy cd for help to write to preper for IELTS pleaze recommen a useful cd , thaks a lot , I appreciate it very much

    is it true?pleaze check it ?


    I
    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am a customer of your supermarket. I am writing to complain about a minor accident that happened/occurred in the supermarket.

    Last Monday at 10 a.m I came to do some shopping. At that time the super market was partly crowded, so it was not a good time for washing the floor which was made very slippery. As a result I slipped on the wet floor and, what is worse, I broke my leg. So I can't go shopping, can't walk anywhere and I need to have someone do things for me.

    I suggest that your cleaners should do this work when the shop is closed, or that they should dry the floor as soon as they have washed it.

    Finally, I trust these suggestion have been useful.


    Please give this matter your immediate attention.



    Yours faithfully



    Habibi




    Habibi
    Last edited by rezashena; 14-Aug-2008 at 06:50.

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