Results 1 to 2 of 2

    • Join Date: Aug 2008
    • Posts: 2

    Exclamation Urgent help needed today! essay editing

    Hi, I have an essay due tomorrow, and since I spent the last few weeks of summer at a leadership program, I had less time on the essay than others. Actually, it's more of a book review. Can you please help me to fix it up? Does it read well, make sence, and sound smart? Editing would be great too!! Thank you so much! I'm so stressed out about it and was up all night trying to finish it. My fear is that it sounds more like a play by play of the story instead of what I think its about and what I thought of it.

    here it is so far, and with some comments:

    Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen is the story of Jacob Jakowski, a college student who finds himself alone and running from his troubled life, and who found work as the veterinarian for the Benzini Brothers Most Spectacular Show on Earth. While circus life is definitely an adventure- there is action, drama, violence, and romance- it isn’t as nice as it looks from the crowd. The story takes place during the depression and it is affecting the circus too. Circuses are collapsing and there is little money. The story is told as the memories of a ninety-three year old Jacob. Some of the chapters are about the older Jacob and his struggles with aging, and the others are dreams and memories of his past.
    When[ml1] Jacob first arrives on the train, he encounters four men playing cards. The men are Blackie, Grady, Bill, and Camel. [All four are workers] After Camel saves Jacob from being thrown off the train by Blackie, he decides to help him get a job with the circus. Camel also helps Jacob to fit in by teaching him the things he needs to survive working there.
    After a failed attempt at arranging a meeting with Uncle Al, the ringmaster, Camel brings Jacob to a man named Earl who helps get Jacob in to meet with Uncle Al. [ml2]After finding out that Jacob studied to be a veterinarian, Uncle Al assigns him as the shows vet and introduces him to August, the head of the menagerie.
    Jacob strongly dislikes Uncle Al. Uncle Al is responsible for the men that occasionally go missing from the train. If they don’t listen to him or if he can’t afford to pay them, he has them redlighted, which means they are thrown off the train.

    Jacob also dislikes August. He and August have a hostile relationship. [ml3]One of the reasons why the two don’t get along is that Jacob gets very close to Augusts wife. Another reason is that August has times when he can get very angry. As the relationship between Jacob and Marlena grows, August becomes suspicious and isn’t as friendly toward Jacob. Along with Marlena, Jacob develops feelings for an elephant named Rosie. Rosie is sweet and mischievous, and is often the target of August’s anger.
    When August explodes in anger after a while of suspecting Jacob of being with Marlena, he hits Marlena and gets into a big fight with Jacob. Marlena decides she is leaving August and ends up with Jacob. They want to get married, but Uncle Al wants Marlena to go back to August, so they plan to leave the circus. In the end, Rosie kills August and….
    [ml1]Starting to be more of me talking about what happens instead of what the book is about…

    [ml2]Check to see if makes sense and if is grammatically correct…

    Last edited by Pomegranite; 01-Sep-2008 at 16:28. Reason: left out essay

  1. Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jan 2008
    • Posts: 2,944

    Re: Urgent help needed today! essay editing

    A book review does not tell the entire story. It gives a summary of the plot, discusses character development (including if you "bonded" with the main character), the writing style of the author, and can state whether or not you recommend the book.

Similar Threads

  1. Please edit essay!! Urgent: Need for tomorrow!
    By soccerplayer09 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 27-Oct-2007, 00:45
  2. correct my essay plz very urgent
    By Veron1 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 26-Oct-2007, 20:37
  3. help needed to conclude essay...Due TODAY!!
    By superkaytee in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-Apr-2007, 06:59
  4. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 14-Dec-2005, 07:09
  5. research essay editing
    By Prakinator in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 17-Oct-2004, 01:41


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts