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    #1

    Am I crazy?

    Am I crazy or is this a poor sentence?

    "Come share your ideas for West Campus socials, parties, events, and concerns!"

    I live at school and these posters were put up all over my dorm. Tell me, am I crazy or is this sort of an awkward sentence? I'm not sure that it even makes any sense at all. I will explain what I think is wrong with it once I get the opinions of more educated individuals than myself. Thanks in advance!

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    #2

    Re: Am I crazy?

    Quote Originally Posted by verso View Post
    Am I crazy or is this a poor sentence?

    "Come share your ideas for West Campus socials, parties, events, and concerns!"

    I live at school and these posters were put up all over my dorm. Tell me, am I crazy or is this sort of an awkward sentence? I'm not sure that it even makes any sense at all. I will explain what I think is wrong with it once I get the opinions of more educated individuals than myself. Thanks in advance!
    You could be crazy; but we'll leave that aside.
    "Come share your ideas for West Campus socials, parties, events, and concerns!"
    The part in green is OK - "concerns" seems to stick out a bit as not being in the same league as "socials, parties and events."
    You're American, so "Come share" should be acceptable. I take this to be an invitation for everyone to come and share their ideas with the Social Committee (or to form one) and say what they think about socials, parties, events; and to bring up any other concerns they have about social activities at the uni.
    In short, it sounds quite sane. I might change it to:
    "Come share your ideas for West Campus socials, parties, events, and tell us any of your concerns!"


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    #3

    Re: Am I crazy?

    That's the problem I have with the sentence. I understand what it means to share an idea for a party, but what does it mean to share an idea for a concern? If you were to reduce the sentence to, "Come share your ideas for West Campus concerns," well then I still think that the sentence is a bit awkward. I also understand the meaning of the sentence as, "Come share your ideas for future socials, future parties, and future events. So then, future concerns? Huh? Ideas for future concerns? According to the hall director what she wants is ideas on how to solve our concerns, but that isn't how the sentence reads.

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    #4

    Re: Am I crazy?

    This does seem a little akward:

    Come share your ideas for upcoming socials, parties & events,

    and

    bring your concerns about your future at West Campus.


    How about this?:

    Bring your ideas for upcoming socials, parties, events, and share your concerns about living at West Campus.


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    #5

    Re: Am I crazy?

    I thought that a better sentence might be, "Come share your concerns, and ideas for West Campus socials, parties and events."

    Some ambiguity still exists even in my "fixed" sentence, but in my opinion it still makes more sense than the hall director's original sentence; because even if you were to read the sentence as meaning "come share your concerns for West Campus socials, parties and events" well then that still makes some sense in that a concern for an upcoming party is still an idea/thought.

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    #6

    Re: Am I crazy?

    I think you need to make it a compound sentence, with two verbs:

    share concerns
    bring ideas


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    #7

    Re: Am I crazy?

    Quote Originally Posted by susiedqq View Post
    I think you need to make it a compound sentence, with two verbs:

    share concerns
    bring ideas
    Oh, right! That makes more sense. So then your revised sentence would be the better sentence. But you do see what I am saying about the original sentence, right? There is just something about it that doesn't sit right with me.

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    #8

    Re: Am I crazy?

    Yes - the series did not "fit together"

    for socials, parties, events, and concerns

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