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  1. Ever Student's Avatar
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    #1

    Wink please tell me which part of my paragraph is incorrect

    what is your friend like?


    I have a nice friend .she is patient and kind ,and helps me whenever i need her .Inspite of working hard ,she doen't say that she is tired of something or bored with one .She is very generous and helps the poor as well as sombody needs money ,food or etc.Although she is in a nice temper she has a weakness point that is she is so disappointed and bring me down immidiately.

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: please tell me which part of my paragraph is incorrect

    Quote Originally Posted by taghavi View Post
    what is your friend like?


    I have a nice friend .she is patient and kind ,and helps me whenever i need her .Inspite of working hard ,she doen't say that she is tired of something or bored with one .She is very generous and helps the poor as well as sombody needs money ,food or etc.Although she is in a nice temper she has a weakness point that is she is so disappointed and bring me down immidiately.
    A period or comma comes after a word, then there is a space.
    I is capitalised.
    The first letter in a sentence is capitalised.
    This may sound silly and arbitrary, but if you want to write in English, you simply have to do it.
    You also have a few spelling and grammatical errors. A spell checker will pick up most of the spelling errors.

  3. Ever Student's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: please tell me which part of my paragraph is incorrect

    Thanks
    I would appreciate it if you can specify my errors, so I wont repeat them.

  4. Raymott's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: please tell me which part of my paragraph is incorrect

    Quote Originally Posted by taghavi View Post
    what is your friend like?

    I have a nice friend .she is patient and kind ,and helps me whenever i need her .In spite of working hard ,she doesn't say that she is tired of something or bored with someone .She is very generous and helps the poor as well as anybody who needs money ,food etc. .Although she has a nice temper, she has a weak point, that is, when she is disappointed it brings me down immediately.
    There you are. I haven't fixed your punctuation.
    If you like, you can do that and post it again for checking.

  5. Ever Student's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: please tell me which part of my paragraph is incorrect

    I have a nice friend.She is patient and kind, and helps me whenever i need her.In spite of working hard, she doesn't say that she is tired of something or bored with someone.She is very generous and helps the poor as well as anybody who needs money, food etc.Although she has a nice temper, she has a weak point, that is, when she is disappointed it brings me down immediately.

    Thank you for specifying my errors.i tried to capitalize the first letter in each sentence, put a comma with a space, then i used a word.

    Best regards

  6. RonBee's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: please tell me which part of my paragraph is incorrect

    Say:
    I have a nice friend. She is patient and kind and helps me whenever I need her.
    In the second sentence you have two verbs but only one subject. ("She is...and helps....")


  7. RonBee's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: please tell me which part of my paragraph is incorrect

    Try:
    In spite of working hard, she doesn't complain about being tired of something or bored with someone.

  8. RonBee's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: please tell me which part of my paragraph is incorrect

    Place a comma before etc., thus:
    She is very generous and helps the poor as well as anybody who needs money, food, etc.
    Space after end marks (periods (full stops), question marks, exclamation marks).

    Watch out for comma splices.


  9. Ever Student's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: please tell me which part of my paragraph is incorrect

    i would appreciate it if you can edit more paragraphs. you have specified somethings need to be learned .

    plz give me a title to write a new paragraph for you and you underline my errors if you dont mind.tnx

  10. Raymott's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: please tell me which part of my paragraph is incorrect

    Quote Originally Posted by taghavi View Post
    i would appreciate it if you can edit more paragraphs. you have specified somethings need to be learned .

    plz give me a title to write a new paragraph for you and you underline my errors if you dont mind.tnx
    Hi taghavi,
    I'll correct your writing, if you tell me where you learned your punctuation.
    I'm not being rude. I really need to know this. Is Farsi written from right to left? Is that how your English textbooks are printed? Do your teachers put the period and commas in the wrong places (for English) too?
    Maybe you could write a short passage about this, and English teaching in Iran generally, and I'll correct it all.

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